What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?
Because it can't sit down!
Did you know knights are known for wearing dishware?
Thats why they call it plate armor.
Who said that the pyramids are the tallest structure in Egypt? They are just between pyra-highs and pyra-lows.
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
Have you heard the fast gladiator that was a tumor covered in dough?
He was a Roamin' Tumor Roll.
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Moataboat
We were debating about Charles Darwin in class when the teacher warned us, "Don't let this evolve into an argument."
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
Henry VIII had breathing troubles - he had no heir!
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
A Roman walks into a cafe and makes an "X" with his fingers.
He says, "Ten teas, please!"
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
Which was the largest Gladiator of them all?
Gluteus Maximus
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
What did the gladiator say when he was surrounded by nearly 100 men?
IC
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
What is Julius Caesar's favorite food?
Roman noodles
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
How did Cleopatra feel when she learned she was queen of Egypt?
She was in denial
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
Who was the biggest prankster in George Washington's army?
Laugh-ayette!
My Gladiator DVD stopped working...
Talk about an *epic* fail.
One of the funny puns uttered by Mark Twain is that denial is not just a river in Egypt.
I wonder why Lenin didn't realize that communism would fail to work. There were so many red flags everywhere.
Why didn't the Romans have algebra?
Because X always equaled 10!
I think if Rome hadn't been built on a hill...
..it wouldn't have had such a fast decline.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
In history class, the teacher taught said the Magna Carta was signed in 1215 and to write an essay on it. A student handed in his work with "The Magna Carta was signed in 1215" written 150 times.
The teacher asked the boy, "Why did you write this?" The boy replied, "Because you always say that history repeats itself!"
This soldier, Titius, liked to kick a soccer ball around at night and was suspected of breaking some important statues. When his friends asked why he hadn't showed up for his platoon's morning workout, Terentius Vespa quipped,
"Oh, it's okay - he said he broke an arm."
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
What was Julius Caesar's answer when the flooring installer asked what he wanted to do with the old floor boards?
Carpet dem.
Why are 40 romans funny?
Because they are XD.
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
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