Once upon a time, there was a king who loved traveling through tunnels. The people gave him the name: Alex-Under."
One of the historical figures to play music with has got to be the talented Mr. Ben-jam-in Franklin.
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
My history teacher was talking about mythical medieval creatures
Personally, I think the lecture was starting to drag on
Why didn't Cleopatra confess that she loved Julius Caesar?
Because she lived in the Nile
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
When the teacher got frustrated because the students weren't paying attention to the class about Isaac Newton, he exclaimed, "Don't you understand the gravity of this situation?"
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
What is Julius Caesar's favorite food?
Roman noodles
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
What did the king say when he heard that the peasants were revolting? He said he agrees because they never bathe and always stink.
When I asked my History teacher if he knew about Einstein's origin and history, he said, "I am relatively aware of it."
What Did The Gladiator Do With The Glory-Hole?
He put his spear in it.
Who succeeded the first President of the United States?
The second one.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,
New Roman.
Of course Napolean did not design the coat that he was wearing but we all knew that he had his hand on it.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
Have you heard the fast gladiator that was a tumor covered in dough?
He was a Roamin' Tumor Roll.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
When the Frenchman asked for a book on warfare on Battle of Waterloo from his librarian, she said, "You're just going to lose it."
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
My teacher told me in History class to do some light reading on the history of the light bulb.
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
The biggest irony in the world's history is that the Russian alphabet has no letters in lowercase. It is all Capitalization.
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
At the bottom.
How did Julius Caesar like his water?
Rome temperature.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
Why didn't the Romans have algebra?
Because X always equaled 10!
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
How did the dog learn to read the hieroglyphics? Because it was an egypt-chien.
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and julius ceaser walk into a bar
He came, he saw, he conquered
My wife and I agreed for some Roman foreplay
I agreed to be Caesar and my wife was the beautiful Cleopatra
I got stabbed 23 times
Hey, have you heard about....
A gladiator whose arms and legs been cut off in a fight? Well, I heard that he's been disarmed and defeated.
Whoever discovered calculus sounded a bit derivative.
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