How did the small oven greet the large oven?
He Microwaved.
Why was the teapot sitting in the corner?
It was having a pour attitude.
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.
My heater won't stop running.
I swear it has no chill.
What TV shows are squeaky clean?
Soap Operas
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz? He wasn’t too bright.”
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
Me: Dad, can I turn the air-conditioner on?
Dad: did you shampoo it first?
I really have to force myself to get through this book on friction.
What did Communists use to light their houses before candles? Electricity.
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
Laundry puns?
I got loads of them.
I bring my TV remote into every sports bar I go to so I can change the channel to whatever I want.
It’s a real game changer
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
My wife asked if I knew how to turn on the dishwasher.
I told her I would some flirty compliments.
A wind turbine saw a solar panel at an energy convention. He leaned in and shouted, Hey, I’m a big fan!”
What kind of car does an electrician drive? A Volts-wagon.”
I put some bread in the toaster this morning, but it never popped up again
I think it might be comatoast.
What is a plug’s favorite chant at a sporting event?
CHARGE!!
Hey did you hear that ESPN is broadcasting this year's Origami competition?
I heard it's pay per view...
Everyone knows The Beatles, but do you know The Laundry Beatles?
It's members are Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch ... And George Harrison.
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
I think my window air conditioner needs an ambulance.
It keeps hyperventilating.
I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven
I guess I should have put it on aloha setting
What is an outlet’s favorite song?
I’ve Got The Power.
I put my fancy shirts in the freezer before I wear them.
It's cold fashion, look it up!
Today I found out my toaster isn't waterproof
I was shocked.
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
My wife says she's divorcing me because of my obsession with television dramas.
But will she leave me...?
Find out next week.
Something is odd about my hot stove.
I just can't quite put my finger on it.
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow.
It was our last warming.
I get so mad when the heater is on.
I don't know why, I just lose my cool.
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp.
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
Last night I turned my wife on by ironing one side of her shirt...
I was pressing all the right buttons.
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
He was a Ramen Catholic.
What happens if you put an iPhone in a blender?
You get apple juice.
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
What did one chandelier say to the other?
I have friends in the high places.
Why did the man eat the light bulb? He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.”
Why can’t dishwashers do parallel dancing?
They’re never in sink.
What kind of plant generates the most energy? A power plant.”
Why are the electricians always up to date? Because they are ‘current specialists.
What would a barefoot man get if he stepped on an electric fence? A pair of shocks.”
What did the sad lamp say when plugged in?
"I finally feel better now that I’ve got an emotional outlet."
I stole some kitchen appliances from my mate...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
I brought a new vacuum cleaner.
It sucks.
What do you call an ironing board that makes your clothes more wrinkly?
An irony board.
My friend bought a new house, and invited everyone to a party.
My dad asks, "How was the house warming?" And I said, "With the furnace, I suppose."
I heard my son complaining about doing laundry.
He said, 'These just socks'.
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