The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
What happens if you put an iPhone in a blender?
You get apple juice.
I like to sleep with the bedside lamp on, even though my wife says it's weird.
I don't see how, I think it makes a great hat.
Laundry puns?
I got loads of them.
I got arrested at work today for moving my desk away from the air conditoner vent.
I was charged with draft-dodging!
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
What’s the best tool to install an electrical plug with?
A socket wrench.
What was the light bulb’s occupation?
He was a conductor
Don't ever change a light bulb while the oven is on
You'll get burned out
What is the energy provider’s favorite dance? The electric slide.”
What football team do energy providers root for the most?
The Chargers.
How many consultants do you need to change a light bulb?
You’ll get an estimate a week from Monday.
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
What is a surfer's least favorite kitchen appliance?
A Microwave
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!
I tried to taste the hot light bulb
But I got my tungstenned.
What TV show did the astronaut appear in?
Dancing with the stars.
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself on the television?
HDMI
I brought a new vacuum cleaner.
It sucks.
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
Every time I hang out my laundry, I can't resist singing "Nine to Five" ...
Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.
You’re a unit of electrical energy, Harry.” I’m a watt?”
What's the first tea that comes in a teapot?
empytea
My friend keeps the toaster on the lowest setting
I suspect he's got black toast intolerance
Went to buy a new microwave. Salesperson asks me "what volume are you looking for?"
And I say "nothign too loud"
Last night me and the wife watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...
And chill out.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb? He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.”
Where do electricians get their supplies? The Ohm Depot.
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
What did the light bulb say to the electric generator? ‘You spark up my life!”
Whoever named it a television ...
Should've called it a watching machine.
My friend has a cold storage device that will discuss philosophical issues. It's a deep freezer.
What did the energy company’s CEO credit her success to?
A series of strategic power moves.
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?
"That experience was chilling."
I bought a lamp for my friend
To brighten their day
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws!
How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
"Is your dishwasher running?"
"Seeing as it doesn't have feet, it does not"
They call the first episode of a TV show a "Pilot", because anyone can fly a plane for a couple seconds....
But you have to prove your jokes can land.
My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry punsץ
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
They’re both ATV
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
Did you hear about the baker that accidentally backed into an open oven...?
His buns were toasted.
What kind of plant generates the most energy? A power plant.”
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions?
I haven’t seen you in light years.
Go to BabaMail
