Asked my boy to boil the kettle.
He said, "wouldn't it be better to boil some water?"
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
In the darkness, is where a flashlight really shines!
I hit my head on a light bulb today, but it’s okay.
It was a soft white.
I couldn't resist this flirty TV remote...
It was an instant turn on.
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
My wife asked if I knew how to turn on the dishwasher.
I told her I would some flirty compliments.
Why did the man eat the light bulb? He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.”
I brought a new vacuum cleaner.
It sucks.
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Normally three, but Toucan.
What is the energy provider’s favorite dance? The electric slide.”
What kind of car does an electrician drive? A Volts-wagon.”
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb?
He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
Even the heaviest chandelier is pretty light.
Where do electricians get their supplies? The Ohm Depot.
What do you call a bad electrician? A shock absorber!
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
How did the small oven greet the large oven?
He Microwaved.
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
Did you hear about the abusive flashlight? It was charged with battery.
What would a barefoot man get if he stepped on an electric fence? A pair of shocks.”
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies...
She Satired.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft?
A Duct-ape.
How many consultants do you need to change a light bulb?
You’ll get an estimate a week from Monday.
Phil told me about what lights up a light bulb.
But I didn’t know what Phil-a-meant.
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
I like to sleep with the bedside lamp on, even though my wife says it's weird.
I don't see how, I think it makes a great hat.
What happens when you put your hand in a blender?
You get a hand shake.
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself on the television?
HDMI
I went to a Church yard sale looking for a grill...
Unfortunately, they only had friars.
Why did the electrical cords break up?
There was no spark between them.
They call the first episode of a TV show a "Pilot", because anyone can fly a plane for a couple seconds....
But you have to prove your jokes can land.
What happens if you put an iPhone in a blender?
You get apple juice.
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
I noticed a wasp in my laundry as I was dropping it in the washer. I decided the best action was to close the lid and start the machine anyway.
Now it's a washp.
Laundry puns?
I got loads of them.
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
They’re both ATV
My friend has a cold storage device that will discuss philosophical issues. It's a deep freezer.
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
Whoever named it a television ...
Should've called it a watching machine.
Why do Russian teapots have to go to bed early?
Because samovars have to work tomorrow.
What do you call someone that's always stealing your heat?
A brrrglar!
What do you call an ironing board that makes your clothes more wrinkly?
An irony board.
I love lamps.
They're so enlightening.
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.”
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