What did the blender say to his crush?
"I have mixed feelings about you, but we might blend together perfectly."
What football team do energy providers root for the most?
The Chargers.
I just built a car out of a washing machine.
I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
What temperature do you set a toy oven?
Faux hundred degrees.
Asked my boy to put the kettle on.
He said, "I don't think it'll fit me"
Every time I hang out my laundry, I can't resist singing "Nine to Five" ...
Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.
What happens when you put your hand in a blender?
You get a hand shake.
My friend called and said he was sick of his fireplace exhaust vent...
Sounds like another case of the flue.
Did you hear about the baker that accidentally backed into an open oven...?
His buns were toasted.
Phil told me about what lights up a light bulb.
But I didn’t know what Phil-a-meant.
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
My TV hates the outside world.
Whenever it faces outside it just glares.
This morning, my dad told me something that gave me the chills.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
How did the charger get rich?
He made a killing in the shock market.
Who takes care of saunas?
Humid Resources.
Why are the electricians always up to date? Because they are ‘current specialists.
People find laundry therapeutic...
Because it takes a load off their mind.
What is a wise, old priest's favorite kitchen appliance?
The deep friar.
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
Moisturize the air!
As fast as humidly possible.
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Normally three, but Toucan.
At what point will you love to change your bulbs the most?
When sparks fly.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft?
A Duct-ape.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb?
He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.
Laundry puns?
I got loads of them.
Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.
Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time… I was shocked.”
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow.
It was our last warming.
Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.
What is an electrician’s favorite flavor of ice cream? Shock-a-lot.”
I bought you a refrigirator.
I can't wait to see your face light up as you open it.
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
My friend has a cold storage device that will discuss philosophical issues. It's a deep freezer.
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself on the television?
HDMI
Why did the electrician marry his colleague? He couldn’t resistor.
Today, I changed a light bulb, crossed a street, and walked into a bar.
My life is a joke.
How are air conditioners like humans?
Both get turned on when it's hot.
Why do quitters do all the laundry?
They always throw in the towel!
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
Where do light bulbs go shopping?
The outlet stores.
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!”
How do you dry clothes on a line in winter?
You freeze dry them.
We ran out of laundry detergent today and had to open up a new one.
It was a changing of the Tide.
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
Even the heaviest chandelier is pretty light.
I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven
I guess I should have put it on aloha setting
Sitting near the fireplace is just like a whole bunch of bees...
'swarm
I feel uncomfortable next to my fridge
It's way too cool for me
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