I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!”
What happens if you put an iPhone in a blender?
You get apple juice.
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
I hit my head on a light bulb today, but it’s okay.
It was a soft white.
I went to a Church yard sale looking for a grill...
Unfortunately, they only had friars.
What was the light bulb’s occupation?
He was a conductor
A dangerous surge of electricity walks into a bar. The barman says, why the long phase?”
My Microwave is a Liar. On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog."
I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, does that make YOU a vacuum cleaner?
Where do light bulbs go shopping?
The outlet stores.
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
Who takes care of saunas?
Humid Resources.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb?
He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator?
Keep it in the corner, because it is 90 degrees.
A wind turbine saw a solar panel at an energy convention. He leaned in and shouted, Hey, I’m a big fan!”
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
Did you hear what the foolish gardener did?
The guy planted a light bulb and though he’d get a power plant.
What did the vacuum cleaner salesman say before murdering his son?
Dyson!
I think my heater is sick.
It's hot.
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
What do you get if you put kisses in a blender?
A Smoochie.
Why did the freezer never graduate?
Because it was set on 0 degrees.
If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad
Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
My wife asked if I knew how to turn on the dishwasher.
I told her I would some flirty compliments.
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.
Even the heaviest chandelier is pretty light.
What kind of plant generates the most energy? A power plant.”
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
My friend called and said he was sick of his fireplace exhaust vent...
Sounds like another case of the flue.
Got my new blender yesterday but I can't tell if I like or not though...
It keeps giving me mixed results.
I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful...
But it turns out to just be blowing hot air.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
What's the first tea that comes in a teapot?
empytea
I stopped ironing my clothes.
I have less pressing concerns.
Who's the most popular kitchen appliance?
The freezer, he's really cool
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
How many consultants do you need to change a light bulb?
You’ll get an estimate a week from Monday.
An electrician needed to change 8 fluorescent lamps to brighten up a large conference room at our office. I asked him if he needed a hand carrying them.
He said no, this is light.
I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room. What do you think will happen? That's a mist-ery.
My new toaster oven is a huge improvement for making lunch.
I used to eat unappetizing sandwiches but I quit cold turkey.
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
What do you call a catholic toaster strudel?
A pope tart.
I heard my son complaining about doing laundry.
He said, 'These just socks'.
I just found out you should never put a bar of soap in the dishwasher.
It's hand wash only.
Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time… I was shocked.”
What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?
"That experience was chilling."
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
The sun is just a big space heater.
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