I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful...
But it turns out to just be blowing hot air.
A wind turbine saw a solar panel at an energy convention. He leaned in and shouted, Hey, I’m a big fan!”
How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
I bought you a refrigirator.
I can't wait to see your face light up as you open it.
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president...
Because I am washing-a-ton.
What do you call it when a clothes dryer is dancing?
A linty-hop.
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
Why are refrigerator shelves hipsters?
They were there before it was cool.
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
What did the sad lamp say when plugged in?
"I finally feel better now that I’ve got an emotional outlet."
Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.
What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?
"I'M BREADY TO DIE"
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
What is a plug’s favorite chant at a sporting event?
CHARGE!!
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
A hand mixer started a speakeasy.
It was a wisk-y business.
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!
My dad was complaining he’d lost a sock after doing his laundry.
I said, "that's a sockrifice I had to make".
What is a surfer's least favorite kitchen appliance?
A Microwave
This morning, my dad told me something that gave me the chills.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz?
He wasn’t too bright.
What veggie should you avoid buying if your fridge is tiny?
Fungi. They take up too mushroom.
What did the lamps do after their date?
They got turned on.
What is a wise, old priest's favorite kitchen appliance?
The deep friar.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
Why did the lights go out? Because they liked each other!”
The superconductor left without resistance.
The sun is just a big space heater.
What football team do energy providers root for the most?
The Chargers.
I stopped ironing my clothes.
I have less pressing concerns.
You’re a unit of electrical energy, Harry.” I’m a watt?”
What kind of car does an electrician drive? A Volts-wagon.”
Why is the air conditioner repairman the life of the party?
It’s not cool until he arrives.
What do mushrooms watch on TV?
Spores.
My new toaster oven is a huge improvement for making lunch.
I used to eat unappetizing sandwiches but I quit cold turkey.
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?
Bone-chilling.
"Is your dishwasher running?"
"Seeing as it doesn't have feet, it does not"
Television is a medium,
Because anything well done is rare.
I just found out you should never put a bar of soap in the dishwasher.
It's hand wash only.
Sitting near the fireplace is just like a whole bunch of bees...
'swarm
Asked my boy to boil the kettle.
He said, "wouldn't it be better to boil some water?"
What is an outlet’s favorite song?
I’ve Got The Power.
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