What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
So earlier I took my clothes from the washer and threw them into the dryer.
I can't be sure how they felt about that, but they seemed agitated.
What do you call it when a clothes dryer is dancing?
A linty-hop.
As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...
And chill out.
My friend bought a new house, and invited everyone to a party.
My dad asks, "How was the house warming?" And I said, "With the furnace, I suppose."
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
They’re both ATV
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
What did the lamp eat?
A light snack...
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
"Is your dishwasher running?"
"Seeing as it doesn't have feet, it does not"
I really have to force myself to get through this book on friction.
My friend dragged me to a lecture about lamps. I though it would be boring but...
It was very illuminating.
Why do quitters do all the laundry?
They always throw in the towel!
At what point will you love to change your bulbs the most?
When sparks fly.
I was opening up all the vents in our house. My wife didn't understand why.
"You may think that's eVENTfull. You'll undestand why I do this eVENTually"
What does a confident kettle have
Self-e-steam
What football team do energy providers root for the most? The Chargers”
My son asked me if I ate the leftovers he was saving in the refrigerator.
I told him "of course not - I ate them in the living room"
I bring my TV remote into every sports bar I go to so I can change the channel to whatever I want.
It’s a real game changer
Had to replace all the bulbs in the side table lamps. Then I had to replace the ones in my ceiling fan.
That was the highlight of my day.
Did you hear about the abusive flashlight? It was charged with battery.
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
What did the dough say after half an hour in the oven?
I’m bready.
What kind of car does an electrician drive? A Volts-wagon.”
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb? He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.”
How many students does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They use CFLs!
What do you call a turtle in a chef’s hat?
A slow cooker.
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven
I guess I should have put it on aloha setting
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
What is the energy provider’s favorite dance? The electric slide.”
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
What temperature do you set a toy oven?
Faux hundred degrees.
Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time… I was shocked.”
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws!
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
What TV show did the astronaut appear in?
Dancing with the stars.
She wanted a microwave for her birthday...
So I pointed and fired my shrink ray at her hand.
My son asked me how I never seemed to lose the TV remote when he was growing up.
I told him I'd always put it in a location away from all the clutter...
A remote location.
Why can’t dishwashers do parallel dancing?
They’re never in sink.
Got my new blender yesterday but I can't tell if I like or not though...
It keeps giving me mixed results.
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator?
Keep it in the corner, because it is 90 degrees.
What did the lamp say to the flickering candle?
"Do you want to go out sometime soon?"
I threw my toaster into the toilet the other day.
It was a shock to the cistern.
My heater won't stop running.
I swear it has no chill.
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