My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
A dangerous surge of electricity walks into a bar. The barman says, why the long phase?”
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
Eventually, I folded.
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
Asked my boy to boil the kettle.
He said, "wouldn't it be better to boil some water?"
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz?
He wasn’t too bright.
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
What sound does a vacuum sweeper make when it explodes?
Ka-BROOM!!!
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws!
My favorite crime TV show has a duck as the main character.
He always quacks the case.
I love taking pictures of myself next to boiling kettles.
My friend reckons I have selfie steam issues
Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time… I was shocked.”
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb? He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.”
Why did the man eat the light bulb?
He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
My heater won't stop running.
I swear it has no chill.
Why did the electrical cords break up?
There was no spark between them.
My dad wanted to teach me to fix the car but all I did was hold the flashlight.
I guess I'll never hold a candle to him.
How many students does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They use CFLs!
What do you call someone that's always stealing your heat?
A brrrglar!
What kind of car does an electrician drive? A Volts-wagon.”
What did the lamp eat?
A light snack...
I tried to taste the hot light bulb
But I got my tungstenned.
This morning, my dad told me something that gave me the chills.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
I just built a car out of a washing machine.
I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
Found out I washed some of my son's nerf darts in his laundry...
Should make for some good clean shots.
My son asked me how I never seemed to lose the TV remote when he was growing up.
I told him I'd always put it in a location away from all the clutter...
A remote location.
How did the small oven greet the large oven?
He Microwaved.
My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge...
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
What was the light bulb’s occupation?
He was a conductor
What do you call an ironing board that makes your clothes more wrinkly?
An irony board.
How did the charger get rich?
He made a killing in the shock market.
Why was the teapot sitting in the corner?
It was having a pour attitude.
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president...
Because I am washing-a-ton.
Where do light bulbs go shopping?
The outlet stores.
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!”
I threw my toaster into the toilet the other day.
It was a shock to the cistern.
My Microwave is a Liar. On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog."
I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.
A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry...
I became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.
My friend keeps the toaster on the lowest setting
I suspect he's got black toast intolerance
What do you call a fake pastry?
A prop tart!
My friend has a cold storage device that will discuss philosophical issues. It's a deep freezer.
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
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