What do you call an ironing board that makes your clothes more wrinkly?
An irony board.
What did Communists use to light their houses before candles? Electricity.
Did you hear about the abusive flashlight? It was charged with battery.
Asked my boy to boil the kettle.
He said, "wouldn't it be better to boil some water?"
I gave my wife a lamp for our anniversary.
Someone’s getting LED tonight.
I get so mad when the heater is on.
I don't know why, I just lose my cool.
Why did bulb pack an apple in his bag?
He wanted to have a light snack.
Where do light bulbs go shopping? The outlet stores.”
Why do Russian teapots have to go to bed early?
Because samovars have to work tomorrow.
A dangerous surge of electricity walks into a bar. The barman says, why the long phase?”
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
What is an outlet’s favorite song?
I’ve Got The Power.
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
What’s the best tool to install an electrical plug with?
A socket wrench.
What did the blender say to his crush?
"I have mixed feelings about you, but we might blend together perfectly."
My roommate keeps taking my water bottle out of the refrigerator.
It's not cool man.
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”
After buying grocers, I sat on the San Francisco pier and pondered life. My laundry detergent tipped over...
Now I’m sittin on the dock of a bay, watching my Tide roll away.
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!
Even the heaviest chandelier is pretty light.
What football team do energy providers root for the most? The Chargers”
Why are refrigerator shelves hipsters?
They were there before it was cool.
What do you call a light bulb at midnight?
A Night Light.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb?
He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.
What do mushrooms watch on TV?
Spores.
What is a Jedi electrician’s favorite tool? His lightsaber”
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws!
Laundry puns?
I got loads of them.
How do you dry clothes on a line in winter?
You freeze dry them.
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
I put some bread in the toaster this morning, but it never popped up again
I think it might be comatoast.
What temperature do you set a toy oven?
Faux hundred degrees.
Everyone knows The Beatles, but do you know The Laundry Beatles?
It's members are Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch ... And George Harrison.
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow.
It was our last warming.
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
If you hit your head on a coffeemaker
Would it leave a brews?
This morning, my dad told me something that gave me the chills.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
I stopped ironing my clothes.
I have less pressing concerns.
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
I just found out you should never put a bar of soap in the dishwasher.
It's hand wash only.
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!
My Microwave is a Liar. On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog."
I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.
Last night I turned my wife on by ironing one side of her shirt...
I was pressing all the right buttons.
What does a confident kettle have
Self-e-steam
Got my new blender yesterday but I can't tell if I like or not though...
It keeps giving me mixed results.
What did the light bulb say to the electric generator? ‘You spark up my life!”
My friend has a cold storage device that will discuss philosophical issues. It's a deep freezer.
Even the most intelligent people can’t survive a day without electricity, like Stephen Hawking.
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