It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
What is the energy provider’s favorite dance? The electric slide.”
Why was the broken air conditioner already sad?
Because it couldn’t vent it’s problems.
My friend dragged me to a lecture about lamps. I though it would be boring but...
It was very illuminating.
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp.
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
An electrician needed to change 8 fluorescent lamps to brighten up a large conference room at our office. I asked him if he needed a hand carrying them.
He said no, this is light.
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.
I bought a lamp for my friend
To brighten their day
My favorite crime TV show has a duck as the main character.
He always quacks the case.
Why do quitters do all the laundry?
They always throw in the towel!
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies...
She Satired.
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity?
It’s natural.
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
They’re both ATV
"Is your dishwasher running?"
"Seeing as it doesn't have feet, it does not"
This morning, my dad told me something that gave me the chills.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
What is a wise, old priest's favorite kitchen appliance?
The deep friar.
What is the difference between lightning and electricity. For electricity, you need to pay, but
lightning kills for free.”
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods.
It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
I asked my son to stop leaving the freezer door open.
I told him, “This is why we can’t have ice things.”
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.
What does a confident kettle have
Self-e-steam
A wind turbine saw a solar panel at an energy convention. He leaned in and shouted, Hey, I’m a big fan!”
What is a light bulb’s favorite kind of news?
Current events.
I put my fancy shirts in the freezer before I wear them.
It's cold fashion, look it up!
How do you dry clothes on a line in winter?
You freeze dry them.
What temperature do you set a toy oven?
Faux hundred degrees.
What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?
A hot plate.
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
I noticed a wasp in my laundry as I was dropping it in the washer. I decided the best action was to close the lid and start the machine anyway.
Now it's a washp.
What veggie should you avoid buying if your fridge is tiny?
Fungi. They take up too mushroom.
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
I destroyed all the air conditioners at work and escaped.
Police are now charging me with a 'heat and run' incident.
I heard my son complaining about doing laundry.
He said, 'These just socks'.
How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
My friend called and said he was sick of his fireplace exhaust vent...
Sounds like another case of the flue.
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
Who's the most popular kitchen appliance?
The freezer, he's really cool
I think my heater is sick.
It's hot.
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
What do you call a kangaroo who watches too much TV?
A pouch potato.
Why did the freezer never graduate?
Because it was set on 0 degrees.
How many consultants do you need to change a light bulb?
You’ll get an estimate a week from Monday.
My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge...
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
I took my friends watch that had an LED flashlight on it.
Now it's my time to shine.
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