I put my fancy shirts in the freezer before I wear them.
It's cold fashion, look it up!
Phil told me about what lights up a light bulb.
But I didn’t know what Phil-a-meant.
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”
What is an energy provider’s favorite dance?
The electric slide.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity? It’s natural.”
What's the opposite of a microwave?
A Tsunami.
We ran out of laundry detergent today and had to open up a new one.
It was a changing of the Tide.
A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry...
I became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.
My friend pointed at a chandelier and said: "isn't that the coolest chandelier ever?"
I replied: "I don't know if it's the coolest, but it's up there."
Last night me and the wife watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
Why can’t dishwashers do parallel dancing?
They’re never in sink.
It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
What does a confident kettle have
Self-e-steam
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
My mixer broke down today. I'm very sad to part with it, I couldn't have whisked for a better friend.
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
This morning, my dad told me something that gave me the chills.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
So earlier I took my clothes from the washer and threw them into the dryer.
I can't be sure how they felt about that, but they seemed agitated.
What did the toaster say to the criminal bread?
"I'm taking you into crustody"
What's the first tea that comes in a teapot?
empytea
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.
Why did the man eat the light bulb? He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.”
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
Why did the lamps get arrested?
They were in some shady business
I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room. What do you think will happen? That's a mist-ery.
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
How did the electrician pay for his new phone?
He charged it.
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
I hit my head on a light bulb today, but it’s okay.
It was a soft white.
What temperature do you set a toy oven?
Faux hundred degrees.
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies...
She Satired.
Everyone knows The Beatles, but do you know The Laundry Beatles?
It's members are Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch ... And George Harrison.
What do you call an ironing board that makes your clothes more wrinkly?
An irony board.
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
My friend had put some beans in the coffee grinder
After a few seconds I told him to stop. That's fine.
I bring my TV remote into every sports bar I go to so I can change the channel to whatever I want.
It’s a real game changer
My wife told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!”...
so I turned on the closed captioning.
Asked my boy to boil the kettle.
He said, "wouldn't it be better to boil some water?"
How many students does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They use CFLs!
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
What is a wise, old priest's favorite kitchen appliance?
The deep friar.
My wife asked if I knew how to turn on the dishwasher.
I told her I would some flirty compliments.
What do you call it when a clothes dryer is dancing?
A linty-hop.
What do you call the art of Freezer meditation?
Fro-zen!
I wonder who invented the air conditioner...
Must’ve been a pretty cool guy.
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