My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
People find laundry therapeutic...
Because it takes a load off their mind.
Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.
What do you call a light bulb at midnight?
A Night Light.
I hid the control for the TV
I’m not even remotely sorry.
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
Why couldn't I fry wood on the stove?
I used a non-stick pan.
I put my fancy shirts in the freezer before I wear them.
It's cold fashion, look it up!
My friend has a cold storage device that will discuss philosophical issues. It's a deep freezer.
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.
Why did the electrical cords break up? There was no spark between them.”
Why do quitters do all the laundry?
They always throw in the towel!
What is a Jedi electrician’s favorite tool? His lightsaber”
What TV shows are squeaky clean?
Soap Operas
This morning, my dad told me something that gave me the chills.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
What did the vacuum cleaner salesman say before murdering his son?
Dyson!
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy?
A power play.
Where do light bulbs go shopping? The outlet stores.”
Why did the electrical cords break up?
There was no spark between them.
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
What’s the best tool to install an electrical plug with?
A socket wrench.
Did you hear about the baker that accidentally backed into an open oven...?
His buns were toasted.
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity?
It’s natural.
A cow not being on the grill for very long is a rare occurrence.
What instrument never fails to energize a crowd?
An electric guitar.
What does a confident kettle have
Self-e-steam
What is an electrician’s favorite flavor of ice cream? Shock-a-lot.”
My friend had put some beans in the coffee grinder
After a few seconds I told him to stop. That's fine.
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder?
"Don't worry. I'm fine."
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
My dad wanted to teach me to fix the car but all I did was hold the flashlight.
I guess I'll never hold a candle to him.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity? It’s natural.”
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
Even the heaviest chandelier is pretty light.
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
I brought a new vacuum cleaner.
It sucks.
Moisturize the air!
As fast as humidly possible.
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
I bought a new heater for my wife.
She didn't like it first, but now I think she's warmed up to it.
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”
What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?
A hot plate.
How can you tell the camera was afraid of the toaster?
Everytime he looked at it, it made him shutter.
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
How many software engineers do you need to change a light bulb?
None – it’s a hardware problem.
Where do light bulbs go shopping?
The outlet stores.
I couldn't resist this flirty TV remote...
It was an instant turn on.
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president...
Because I am washing-a-ton.
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