Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz? He wasn’t too bright.”
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
What is a jedi electrician’s favorite tool?
His lightsaber.
Did you hear about the baker that accidentally backed into an open oven...?
His buns were toasted.
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Stick him in an oven until his Bill Withers
What football team do energy providers root for the most?
The Chargers.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft?
A Duct-ape.
Why did the freezer never graduate?
Because it was set on 0 degrees.
Why did the lamps get arrested?
They were in some shady business
Why did the electrician marry his colleague? He couldn’t resistor.
What temperature do you set a toy oven?
Faux hundred degrees.
What happens if you put an iPhone in a blender?
You get apple juice.
My son asked me how I never seemed to lose the TV remote when he was growing up.
I told him I'd always put it in a location away from all the clutter...
A remote location.
I put some big, giant, large, massive, enormous, huge bread in the toaster.
I was making synonym toast.
If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad
Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .
Did you hear about the abusive flashlight? It was charged with battery.
And the lord said unto John "come forth and you shall have eternal life"
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful...
But it turns out to just be blowing hot air.
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
I went to shop for a toaster. The sailsman showed me all the fancy features.
I said "wow, that's cool!"
And he replied, "Sorry ma'am,it can only warm"
I bought a new heater for my wife.
She didn't like it first, but now I think she's warmed up to it.
I really have to force myself to get through this book on friction.
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods.
It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
What happens when you put your hand in a blender?
You get a hand shake.
What do you call someone that's always stealing your heat?
A brrrglar!
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
I hid the control for the TV
I’m not even remotely sorry.
Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.
What is an energy provider’s favorite dance?
The electric slide.
What did the lamp eat?
A light snack...
What would a barefoot man get if he stepped on an electric fence? A pair of shocks.”
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
He was a Ramen Catholic.
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words
I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.
It was a reduction.
What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?
A hot plate.
People find laundry therapeutic...
Because it takes a load off their mind.
After buying grocers, I sat on the San Francisco pier and pondered life. My laundry detergent tipped over...
Now I’m sittin on the dock of a bay, watching my Tide roll away.
What is a light bulb’s favorite kind of news?
Current events.
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
Why are teapots so expensive?
Because they make you pour!
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
Don't ever change a light bulb while the oven is on
You'll get burned out
As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...
And chill out.
My son asked me if I ate the leftovers he was saving in the refrigerator.
I told him "of course not - I ate them in the living room"
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies...
She Satired.
Go to BabaMail
