A hand mixer started a speakeasy.
It was a wisk-y business.
I can't find my humidifier anymore...
I have reported it misting.
I bought you a refrigirator.
I can't wait to see your face light up as you open it.
What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?
"That experience was chilling."
My friend called and said he was sick of his fireplace exhaust vent...
Sounds like another case of the flue.
You’re a unit of electrical energy, Harry.” I’m a watt?”
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies...
She Satired.
What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?
A common tater.
Why are teapots so expensive?
Because they make you pour!
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?
Bone-chilling.
I brought a new vacuum cleaner.
It sucks.
My wife says she's divorcing me because of my obsession with television dramas.
But will she leave me...?
Find out next week.
My friend pointed at a chandelier and said: "isn't that the coolest chandelier ever?"
I replied: "I don't know if it's the coolest, but it's up there."
Found out I washed some of my son's nerf darts in his laundry...
Should make for some good clean shots.
Got my new blender yesterday but I can't tell if I like or not though...
It keeps giving me mixed results.
What instrument never fails to energize a crowd?
An electric guitar.
If you hit your head on a coffeemaker
Would it leave a brews?
I keep scores of my favorite iceboxes.
They're my refrigeRATINGS.
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Normally three, but Toucan.
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity?
It’s natural.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
What's the opposite of a microwave?
A Tsunami.
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
Asked my boy to put the kettle on.
He said, "I don't think it'll fit me"
Why did the man eat the light bulb?
He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions? I haven’t seen you in light-years.”
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
Eventually, I folded.
What is the difference between lightning and electricity. For electricity, you need to pay, but
lightning kills for free.”
Who's the most popular kitchen appliance?
The freezer, he's really cool
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president...
Because I am washing-a-ton.
My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge...
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
On our way to buy a refrigerator, I saw my husband carrying a piece of paper with a giant X written on it. I asked, “What are you going to do with it?”
He said, “Let’s cross that fridge when we get there.”
How do you dry clothes on a line in winter?
You freeze dry them.
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
The sun is just a big space heater.
Where do light bulbs go shopping?
The outlet stores.
What did Communists use to light their houses before candles? Electricity.
After buying grocers, I sat on the San Francisco pier and pondered life. My laundry detergent tipped over...
Now I’m sittin on the dock of a bay, watching my Tide roll away.
What did the lamp say to the flickering candle?
"Do you want to go out sometime soon?"
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
What do you call a kangaroo who watches too much TV?
A pouch potato.
I saw an ad that read: “TV for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.” I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down!"
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
What did the toaster say to the criminal bread?
"I'm taking you into crustody"
At what point will you love to change your bulbs the most?
When sparks fly.
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