Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
I bought you a refrigirator.
I can't wait to see your face light up as you open it.
I put some big, giant, large, massive, enormous, huge bread in the toaster.
I was making synonym toast.
It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.
"Is your dishwasher running?"
"Seeing as it doesn't have feet, it does not"
What did the lamp say to the flickering candle?
"Do you want to go out sometime soon?"
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
Why was the broken air conditioner already sad?
Because it couldn’t vent it’s problems.
What’s the best tool to install an electrical plug with?
A socket wrench.
I stopped ironing my clothes.
I have less pressing concerns.
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
What kind of plant generates the most energy? A power plant.”
My wife told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!”...
so I turned on the closed captioning.
What did the energy company’s CEO credit her success to?
A series of strategic power moves.
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
What do you call an Incarcerated late night TV show host?
Jimmy Felon.
My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a TV news anchor.
More on this after the break.
Had to replace all the bulbs in the side table lamps. Then I had to replace the ones in my ceiling fan.
That was the highlight of my day.
I like to sleep with the bedside lamp on, even though my wife says it's weird.
I don't see how, I think it makes a great hat.
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
They’re both ATV
My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry punsץ
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
What instrument never fails to energize a crowd?
An electric guitar.
What happens if you put an iPhone in a blender?
You get apple juice.
How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
How did the pizza escape the oven?
Through the dough!
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder?
"Don't worry. I'm fine."
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
If you plant a light bulb in your garden, does it grow into a power plant?
My friend called and said he was sick of his fireplace exhaust vent...
Sounds like another case of the flue.
A wind turbine saw a solar panel at an energy convention. He leaned in and shouted, Hey, I’m a big fan!”
I noticed a wasp in my laundry as I was dropping it in the washer. I decided the best action was to close the lid and start the machine anyway.
Now it's a washp.
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
My friend asked me why I was wearing a lamp shade over my face.
I replied, "I am feeling light headed."
I feel uncomfortable next to my fridge
It's way too cool for me
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp.
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
I threw my toaster into the toilet the other day.
It was a shock to the cistern.
I couldn't resist this flirty TV remote...
It was an instant turn on.
And the lord said unto John "come forth and you shall have eternal life"
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
Even the most intelligent people can’t survive a day without electricity, like Stephen Hawking.
I bring my TV remote into every sports bar I go to so I can change the channel to whatever I want.
It’s a real game changer
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”
I brought a new vacuum cleaner.
It sucks.
What is the energy provider’s favorite dance? The electric slide.”
I get so mad when the heater is on.
I don't know why, I just lose my cool.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity?
It’s natural.
Got my new blender yesterday but I can't tell if I like or not though...
It keeps giving me mixed results.
A hand mixer started a speakeasy.
It was a wisk-y business.
How long do you microwave fish?
Tuna half minutes!
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
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