Why do fluorescent lights hum? Because they can’t remember the words.”
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
Asked my boy to put the kettle on.
He said, "I don't think it'll fit me"
How are air conditioners like humans?
Both get turned on when it's hot.
Where do light bulbs go shopping? The outlet stores.”
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
He was a Ramen Catholic.
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods.
It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
I got arrested at work today for moving my desk away from the air conditoner vent.
I was charged with draft-dodging!
How many software engineers do you need to change a light bulb?
None – it’s a hardware problem.
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity? It’s natural.”
This morning, my dad told me something that gave me the chills.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
My friend called and said he was sick of his fireplace exhaust vent...
Sounds like another case of the flue.
I bought a new heater for my wife.
She didn't like it first, but now I think she's warmed up to it.
My Microwave is a Liar. On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog."
I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.
I hid the control for the TV
I’m not even remotely sorry.
I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful...
But it turns out to just be blowing hot air.
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
I saw an ad that read: “TV for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.” I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down!"
My friend pointed at a chandelier and said: "isn't that the coolest chandelier ever?"
I replied: "I don't know if it's the coolest, but it's up there."
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
I wonder who invented the air conditioner...
Must’ve been a pretty cool guy.
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
I just found out you should never put a bar of soap in the dishwasher.
It's hand wash only.
Found out I washed some of my son's nerf darts in his laundry...
Should make for some good clean shots.
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room. What do you think will happen? That's a mist-ery.
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies...
She Satired.
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
I went to a Church yard sale looking for a grill...
Unfortunately, they only had friars.
What is an energy provider’s favorite dance?
The electric slide.
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
What do you call a slice of bread you put in the toaster?
A tanning bread.
I feel uncomfortable next to my fridge
It's way too cool for me
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
My friend bought a new house, and invited everyone to a party.
My dad asks, "How was the house warming?" And I said, "With the furnace, I suppose."
My favorite crime TV show has a duck as the main character.
He always quacks the case.
What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?
"That experience was chilling."
What did the toaster say to the criminal bread?
"I'm taking you into crustody"
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
What do mushrooms watch on TV?
Spores.
Why did the freezer never graduate?
Because it was set on 0 degrees.
Me: Dad, can I turn the air-conditioner on?
Dad: did you shampoo it first?
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
Why did the electrical cords break up?
There was no spark between them.
Go to BabaMail
