Who takes care of saunas?
Humid Resources.
At what point will you love to change your bulbs the most?
When sparks fly.
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow.
It was our last warming.
Found out I washed some of my son's nerf darts in his laundry...
Should make for some good clean shots.
I stole some kitchen appliances from my mate...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
Why did the man eat the light bulb? He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.”
Accidentally spilled frosting all over the freezer.
Going to leave it be though, since the freezer has an auto defrost feature.
How did the pizza escape the oven?
Through the dough!
What's the first tea that comes in a teapot?
empytea
I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful...
But it turns out to just be blowing hot air.
Why did the man eat the light bulb?
He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
I threw my toaster into the toilet the other day.
It was a shock to the cistern.
What do you call a turtle in a chef’s hat?
A slow cooker.
Why are refrigerator shelves hipsters?
They were there before it was cool.
They call the first episode of a TV show a "Pilot", because anyone can fly a plane for a couple seconds....
But you have to prove your jokes can land.
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
Why was the teapot sitting in the corner?
It was having a pour attitude.
What kind of car does an electrician drive? A Volts-wagon.”
How did the charger get rich?
He made a killing in the shock market.
My friend bought a new house, and invited everyone to a party.
My dad asks, "How was the house warming?" And I said, "With the furnace, I suppose."
I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room. What do you think will happen? That's a mist-ery.
My landlord said we need to talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied: “Sure, my door is always open.”
You’re a unit of electrical energy, Harry.” I’m a watt?”
My Microwave is a Liar. On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog."
I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.
My heater won't stop running.
I swear it has no chill.
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
Sitting near the fireplace is just like a whole bunch of bees...
'swarm
What did the lamp say to the flickering candle?
"Do you want to go out sometime soon?"
After buying grocers, I sat on the San Francisco pier and pondered life. My laundry detergent tipped over...
Now I’m sittin on the dock of a bay, watching my Tide roll away.
Who's the most popular kitchen appliance?
The freezer, he's really cool
The tea pot sounds so angry!
Nah, its just letting off some steam.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft?
A Duct-ape.
I tried to taste the hot light bulb
But I got my tungstenned.
What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?
Bone-chilling.
What happens if you put an iPhone in a blender?
You get apple juice.
A wind turbine saw a solar panel at an energy convention. He leaned in and shouted, Hey, I’m a big fan!”
Why do Russian teapots have to go to bed early?
Because samovars have to work tomorrow.
I noticed a wasp in my laundry as I was dropping it in the washer. I decided the best action was to close the lid and start the machine anyway.
Now it's a washp.
I asked my son to stop leaving the freezer door open.
I told him, “This is why we can’t have ice things.”
A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
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