What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.
I love taking pictures of myself next to boiling kettles.
My friend reckons I have selfie steam issues
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity? It’s natural.”
I tried to taste the hot light bulb
But I got my tungstenned.
I think my window air conditioner needs an ambulance.
It keeps hyperventilating.
My friend bought a new house, and invited everyone to a party.
My dad asks, "How was the house warming?" And I said, "With the furnace, I suppose."
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
The tea pot sounds so angry!
Nah, its just letting off some steam.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
A wind turbine saw a solar panel at an energy convention. He leaned in and shouted, Hey, I’m a big fan!”
How many students does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They use CFLs!
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
I put some bread in the toaster this morning, but it never popped up again
I think it might be comatoast.
If you hit your head on a coffeemaker
Would it leave a brews?
Asked my boy to put the kettle on.
He said, "I don't think it'll fit me"
They call the first episode of a TV show a "Pilot", because anyone can fly a plane for a couple seconds....
But you have to prove your jokes can land.
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself on the television?
HDMI
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?
A hot plate.
What did the lamp eat?
A light snack...
If you're stressed, try ironing clothes.
It's a great way to let off some steam.
What is the energy provider’s favorite dance? The electric slide.”
I asked my son to stop leaving the freezer door open.
I told him, “This is why we can’t have ice things.”
I like to sleep with the bedside lamp on, even though my wife says it's weird.
I don't see how, I think it makes a great hat.
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz? He wasn’t too bright.”
What did the toaster say to the criminal bread?
"I'm taking you into crustody"
Even the most intelligent people can’t survive a day without electricity, like Stephen Hawking.
My dad used to crack jokes standing above our fireplace.
Now he's passed the mantle on to me.
I saw an ad that read: “TV for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.” I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down!"
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
What do you call an Incarcerated late night TV show host?
Jimmy Felon.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, does that make YOU a vacuum cleaner?
Apparently adding a fireplace to your home is the hot new trend...
...and chimney installations are through the roof!
My wife asked me why I was ironing my 4 leaf clover.
I told her I was pressing my luck
Why couldn't I fry wood on the stove?
I used a non-stick pan.
How do you dry clothes on a line in winter?
You freeze dry them.
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow.
It was our last warming.
What is a Jedi electrician’s favorite tool? His lightsaber”
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
Where do electricians get their supplies? The Ohm Depot.
What is a light bulb’s favorite kind of news?
Current events.
Found out I washed some of my son's nerf darts in his laundry...
Should make for some good clean shots.
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
What veggie should you avoid buying if your fridge is tiny?
Fungi. They take up too mushroom.
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods.
It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
What football team do energy providers root for the most? The Chargers”
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
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