Why is the air conditioner repairman the life of the party?
It’s not cool until he arrives.
My son asked me how I never seemed to lose the TV remote when he was growing up.
I told him I'd always put it in a location away from all the clutter...
A remote location.
My dad was complaining he’d lost a sock after doing his laundry.
I said, "that's a sockrifice I had to make".
I put my fancy shirts in the freezer before I wear them.
It's cold fashion, look it up!
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity?
It’s natural.
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
What do you get when you put a saxophonist in a freezer?
Cool jazz.
What do you call it when a clothes dryer is dancing?
A linty-hop.
How did the pizza escape the oven?
Through the dough!
I bought you a refrigirator.
I can't wait to see your face light up as you open it.
You’re a unit of electrical energy, Harry.” I’m a watt?”
My son asked me if I ate the leftovers he was saving in the refrigerator.
I told him "of course not - I ate them in the living room"
What do you call a light bulb at midnight?
A Night Light.
Did you hear about the abusive flashlight? It was charged with battery.
Today, I changed a light bulb, crossed a street, and walked into a bar.
My life is a joke.
What kind of plant generates the most energy? A power plant.”
A dangerous surge of electricity walks into a bar. The barman says, why the long phase?”
Why did the man eat the light bulb?
He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
My Microwave is a Liar. On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog."
I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.
A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry...
I became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
When the heat turns down, we thieves gather in our secret hideout for a meeting.
We call it our Con Den session.
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions?
I haven’t seen you in light years.
What TV show did the astronaut appear in?
Dancing with the stars.
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
I hit my head on a light bulb today, but it’s okay.
It was a soft white.
I noticed a wasp in my laundry as I was dropping it in the washer. I decided the best action was to close the lid and start the machine anyway.
Now it's a washp.
Last night I turned my wife on by ironing one side of her shirt...
I was pressing all the right buttons.
Every time I hang out my laundry, I can't resist singing "Nine to Five" ...
Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.
And the lord said unto John "come forth and you shall have eternal life"
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
I wonder who invented the air conditioner...
Must’ve been a pretty cool guy.
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
Why couldn't I fry wood on the stove?
I used a non-stick pan.
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
I once convinced my younger brother to swallow a small lamp.
I got in so much trouble but it was worth it to see his little face light up.
Got my new blender yesterday but I can't tell if I like or not though...
It keeps giving me mixed results.
I was going to start ironing, but I decided it was too depressing.
My wife told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!”...
so I turned on the closed captioning.
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president...
Because I am washing-a-ton.
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
Who's the most popular kitchen appliance?
The freezer, he's really cool
Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time… I was shocked.”
My mixer broke down today. I'm very sad to part with it, I couldn't have whisked for a better friend.
"Is your dishwasher running?"
"Seeing as it doesn't have feet, it does not"
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
How many consultants do you need to change a light bulb?
You’ll get an estimate a week from Monday.
Go to BabaMail
