How many students does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They use CFLs!
What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?
Bone-chilling.
What did the lamp say to the flickering candle?
"Do you want to go out sometime soon?"
How are air conditioners like humans?
Both get turned on when it's hot.
Where do light bulbs go shopping? The outlet stores.”
Moisturize the air!
As fast as humidly possible.
I was opening up all the vents in our house. My wife didn't understand why.
"You may think that's eVENTfull. You'll undestand why I do this eVENTually"
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz?
He wasn’t too bright.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
I saw an ad that read: “TV for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.” I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down!"
What is an energy provider’s favorite dance?
The electric slide.
I'm thinking about writing a book about lamps. I think its a bright idea
What is an electrician’s favorite flavor of ice cream? Shock-a-lot.”
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies...
She Satired.
On our way to buy a refrigerator, I saw my husband carrying a piece of paper with a giant X written on it. I asked, “What are you going to do with it?”
He said, “Let’s cross that fridge when we get there.”
I like to sleep with the bedside lamp on, even though my wife says it's weird.
I don't see how, I think it makes a great hat.
Something is odd about my hot stove.
I just can't quite put my finger on it.
So earlier I took my clothes from the washer and threw them into the dryer.
I can't be sure how they felt about that, but they seemed agitated.
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
I just built a car out of a washing machine.
I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
What did the sad lamp say when plugged in?
"I finally feel better now that I’ve got an emotional outlet."
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
My TV hates the outside world.
Whenever it faces outside it just glares.
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
He was a Ramen Catholic.
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz? He wasn’t too bright.”
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
How many consultants do you need to change a light bulb?
You’ll get an estimate a week from Monday.
I started ironing my clothes...
To de-crease how bad I looked
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
Did you hear what the foolish gardener did?
The guy planted a light bulb and though he’d get a power plant.
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.
Did you hear about the baker that accidentally backed into an open oven...?
His buns were toasted.
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself on the television?
HDMI
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!
What’s the best tool to install an electrical plug with?
A socket wrench.
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
My roommate keeps taking my water bottle out of the refrigerator.
It's not cool man.
Last night I turned my wife on by ironing one side of her shirt...
I was pressing all the right buttons.
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
Got my new blender yesterday but I can't tell if I like or not though...
It keeps giving me mixed results.
How did the electrician pay for his new phone?
He charged it.
I love taking pictures of myself next to boiling kettles.
My friend reckons I have selfie steam issues
My wife says she's divorcing me because of my obsession with television dramas.
But will she leave me...?
Find out next week.
My Microwave is a Liar. On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog."
I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.
What would a barefoot man get if he stepped on an electric fence? A pair of shocks.”
I bring my TV remote into every sports bar I go to so I can change the channel to whatever I want.
It’s a real game changer
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