I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!”
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
What do you call it when a clothes dryer is dancing?
A linty-hop.
Asked my boy to put the kettle on.
He said, "I don't think it'll fit me"
How did the charger get rich?
He made a killing in the shock market.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
What is a plug’s favorite chant at a sporting event?
CHARGE!!
A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
My wife told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!”...
so I turned on the closed captioning.
What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?
A hot plate.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb?
He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.
What did the sad lamp say when plugged in?
"I finally feel better now that I’ve got an emotional outlet."
What do you call someone that's always stealing your heat?
A brrrglar!
I bought you a refrigirator.
I can't wait to see your face light up as you open it.
On our way to buy a refrigerator, I saw my husband carrying a piece of paper with a giant X written on it. I asked, “What are you going to do with it?”
He said, “Let’s cross that fridge when we get there.”
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
A wind turbine saw a solar panel at an energy convention. He leaned in and shouted, Hey, I’m a big fan!”
Why is the air conditioner repairman the life of the party?
It’s not cool until he arrives.
Where do electricians get their supplies? The Ohm Depot.
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp.
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president...
Because I am washing-a-ton.
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz?
He wasn’t too bright.
What do you call a fake pastry?
A prop tart!
The guy who got arrested for eating batteries…. He is to be charged in the morning.
I went to shop for a toaster. The sailsman showed me all the fancy features.
I said "wow, that's cool!"
And he replied, "Sorry ma'am,it can only warm"
The sun is just a big space heater.
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Stick him in an oven until his Bill Withers
My dad wanted to teach me to fix the car but all I did was hold the flashlight.
I guess I'll never hold a candle to him.
Last night I turned my wife on by ironing one side of her shirt...
I was pressing all the right buttons.
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
What did the lamps do after their date?
They got turned on.
Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.
What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?
"I'M BREADY TO DIE"
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
Where do light bulbs go shopping?
The outlet stores.
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge...
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
Why did the electrician marry his colleague? He couldn’t resistor.
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
I started ironing my clothes...
To de-crease how bad I looked
How did the electrician pay for his new phone?
He charged it.
What is the difference between lightning and electricity. For electricity, you need to pay, but
lightning kills for free.”
Why couldn't I fry wood on the stove?
I used a non-stick pan.
What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?
Bone-chilling.
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
Phil told me about what lights up a light bulb.
But I didn’t know what Phil-a-meant.
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