I stole some kitchen appliances from my mate...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
Why do Russian teapots have to go to bed early?
Because samovars have to work tomorrow.
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
Where do light bulbs go shopping?
The outlet stores.
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.
I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.
It was a reduction.
I just found out you should never put a bar of soap in the dishwasher.
It's hand wash only.
My heater won't stop running.
I swear it has no chill.
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”
How many consultants do you need to change a light bulb?
You’ll get an estimate a week from Monday.
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity? It’s natural.”
How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
Sitting near the fireplace is just like a whole bunch of bees...
'swarm
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.”
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
What is a light bulb’s favorite kind of news?
Current events.
Got into my car and realized my wife had shut off all the A/C vents.
Definitely not cool.
Why did the lights go out? Because they liked each other!”
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies...
She Satired.
People find laundry therapeutic...
Because it takes a load off their mind.
I got tricked into buying a cooling fan that didn't work...
It was an air con.
What did the light bulb say to the electric generator? ‘You spark up my life!”
What kind of car does an electrician drive? A Volts-wagon.”
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz?
He wasn’t too bright.
This morning, my dad told me something that gave me the chills.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
I can't find my humidifier anymore...
I have reported it misting.
They call the first episode of a TV show a "Pilot", because anyone can fly a plane for a couple seconds....
But you have to prove your jokes can land.
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
Eventually, I folded.
Why do fluorescent lights hum? Because they can’t remember the words.”
My friend keeps the toaster on the lowest setting
I suspect he's got black toast intolerance
What TV shows are squeaky clean?
Soap Operas
An electrician needed to change 8 fluorescent lamps to brighten up a large conference room at our office. I asked him if he needed a hand carrying them.
He said no, this is light.
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!”
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
I gave my wife a lamp for our anniversary.
Someone’s getting LED tonight.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft?
A Duct-ape.
How did the small oven greet the large oven?
He Microwaved.
What did the lamp eat?
A light snack...
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.
What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?
A hot plate.
How do you dry clothes on a line in winter?
You freeze dry them.
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
I keep scores of my favorite iceboxes.
They're my refrigeRATINGS.
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Stick him in an oven until his Bill Withers
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