The sun is just a big space heater.
What do you call a slice of bread you put in the toaster?
A tanning bread.
What is a Jedi electrician’s favorite tool? His lightsaber”
I put my fancy shirts in the freezer before I wear them.
It's cold fashion, look it up!
Asked my boy to boil the kettle.
He said, "wouldn't it be better to boil some water?"
Where do light bulbs go shopping?
The outlet stores.
What is the difference between lightning and electricity. For electricity, you need to pay, but
lightning kills for free.”
I love lamps.
They're so enlightening.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
Did you hear about the abusive flashlight? It was charged with battery.
I just built a car out of a washing machine.
I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
I'm thinking about writing a book about lamps. I think its a bright idea
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!
Why is the air conditioner repairman the life of the party?
It’s not cool until he arrives.
My dad used to crack jokes standing above our fireplace.
Now he's passed the mantle on to me.
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
Moisturize the air!
As fast as humidly possible.
Today, I changed a light bulb, crossed a street, and walked into a bar.
My life is a joke.
My wife says she's divorcing me because of my obsession with television dramas.
But will she leave me...?
Find out next week.
What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?
"That experience was chilling."
My friend keeps the toaster on the lowest setting
I suspect he's got black toast intolerance
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
What is an electrician’s favorite flavor of ice cream? Shock-a-lot.”
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
I bought a new heater for my wife.
She didn't like it first, but now I think she's warmed up to it.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb? He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.”
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
What is an outlet’s favorite song?
I’ve Got The Power.
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
I put some big, giant, large, massive, enormous, huge bread in the toaster.
I was making synonym toast.
What happens if you put an iPhone in a blender?
You get apple juice.
I was going to start ironing, but I decided it was too depressing.
People find laundry therapeutic...
Because it takes a load off their mind.
At what point will you love to change your bulbs the most?
When sparks fly.
What do you call someone that's always stealing your heat?
A brrrglar!
I feel uncomfortable next to my fridge
It's way too cool for me
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
I brought a new vacuum cleaner.
It sucks.
Sitting near the fireplace is just like a whole bunch of bees...
'swarm
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
My heater won't stop running.
I swear it has no chill.
Apparently adding a fireplace to your home is the hot new trend...
...and chimney installations are through the roof!
What's the first tea that comes in a teapot?
empytea
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
What do you call the art of Freezer meditation?
Fro-zen!
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Stick him in an oven until his Bill Withers
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