What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft?
A Duct-ape.
Got my new blender yesterday but I can't tell if I like or not though...
It keeps giving me mixed results.
I put some big, giant, large, massive, enormous, huge bread in the toaster.
I was making synonym toast.
What do you call a bad electrician? A shock absorber!
How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
Did you hear about the abusive flashlight? It was charged with battery.
How can you tell the camera was afraid of the toaster?
Everytime he looked at it, it made him shutter.
What do you call a slice of bread you put in the toaster?
A tanning bread.
At what point will you love to change your bulbs the most?
When sparks fly.
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
My friend bought a new house, and invited everyone to a party.
My dad asks, "How was the house warming?" And I said, "With the furnace, I suppose."
What did the lamps do after their date?
They got turned on.
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
What did the light bulb say to the electric generator? ‘You spark up my life!”
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
On our way to buy a refrigerator, I saw my husband carrying a piece of paper with a giant X written on it. I asked, “What are you going to do with it?”
He said, “Let’s cross that fridge when we get there.”
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
Why can’t dishwashers do parallel dancing?
They’re never in sink.
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!
My landlord said we need to talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied: “Sure, my door is always open.”
Who takes care of saunas?
Humid Resources.
Why did the lights go out? Because they liked each other!”
A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry...
I became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.
My new toaster oven is a huge improvement for making lunch.
I used to eat unappetizing sandwiches but I quit cold turkey.
My roommate keeps taking my water bottle out of the refrigerator.
It's not cool man.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
Why are the electricians always up to date? Because they are ‘current specialists.
I once convinced my younger brother to swallow a small lamp.
I got in so much trouble but it was worth it to see his little face light up.
I keep scores of my favorite iceboxes.
They're my refrigeRATINGS.
What is a plug’s favorite chant at a sporting event?
CHARGE!!
Phil told me about what lights up a light bulb.
But I didn’t know what Phil-a-meant.
Something is odd about my hot stove.
I just can't quite put my finger on it.
I can't find my humidifier anymore...
I have reported it misting.
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.”
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity? It’s natural.”
Why are teapots so expensive?
Because they make you pour!
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
What did the energy company’s CEO credit her success to?
A series of strategic power moves.
So earlier I took my clothes from the washer and threw them into the dryer.
I can't be sure how they felt about that, but they seemed agitated.
My friend pointed at a chandelier and said: "isn't that the coolest chandelier ever?"
I replied: "I don't know if it's the coolest, but it's up there."
Me: Dad, can I turn the air-conditioner on?
Dad: did you shampoo it first?
I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.
It was a reduction.
Found out I washed some of my son's nerf darts in his laundry...
Should make for some good clean shots.
Hey did you hear that ESPN is broadcasting this year's Origami competition?
I heard it's pay per view...
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
I took my friends watch that had an LED flashlight on it.
Now it's my time to shine.
What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?
A common tater.
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