What do you call a Smart TV?
In-telly-gent.
I think my heater is sick.
It's hot.
What is an electrician’s favorite flavor of ice cream? Shock-a-lot.”
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.
Why did the lights go out? Because they liked each other!”
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions?
I haven’t seen you in light years.
Where do light bulbs go shopping? The outlet stores.”
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
Me: Dad, can I turn the air-conditioner on?
Dad: did you shampoo it first?
My son asked me if I ate the leftovers he was saving in the refrigerator.
I told him "of course not - I ate them in the living room"
I sold my cleaning equipment.
It was just collecting dust.
My friend called and said he was sick of his fireplace exhaust vent...
Sounds like another case of the flue.
What did the blender say to his crush?
"I have mixed feelings about you, but we might blend together perfectly."
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
What is a plug’s favorite chant at a sporting event?
CHARGE!!
What’s the best tool to install an electrical plug with?
A socket wrench.
Why did the electrician marry his colleague? He couldn’t resistor.
What did the lamp say to the flickering candle?
"Do you want to go out sometime soon?"
A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
So earlier I took my clothes from the washer and threw them into the dryer.
I can't be sure how they felt about that, but they seemed agitated.
What did the light bulb say to the electric generator? ‘You spark up my life!”
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
My electrician friend accidentally blew the power to the ice-making factory. Now they’ve gone into liquidation.
What football team do energy providers root for the most? The Chargers”
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
Eventually, I folded.
I saw an ad that read: “TV for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.” I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down!"
I once convinced my younger brother to swallow a small lamp.
I got in so much trouble but it was worth it to see his little face light up.
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.
Why did the electrical cords break up?
There was no spark between them.
Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.
My mixer broke down today. I'm very sad to part with it, I couldn't have whisked for a better friend.
What do mushrooms watch on TV?
Spores.
What TV show did the astronaut appear in?
Dancing with the stars.
My wife told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!”...
so I turned on the closed captioning.
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?
A common tater.
I noticed a wasp in my laundry as I was dropping it in the washer. I decided the best action was to close the lid and start the machine anyway.
Now it's a washp.
I couldn't resist this flirty TV remote...
It was an instant turn on.
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
After buying grocers, I sat on the San Francisco pier and pondered life. My laundry detergent tipped over...
Now I’m sittin on the dock of a bay, watching my Tide roll away.
I just found out you should never put a bar of soap in the dishwasher.
It's hand wash only.
My friend bought a new house, and invited everyone to a party.
My dad asks, "How was the house warming?" And I said, "With the furnace, I suppose."
Sitting near the fireplace is just like a whole bunch of bees...
'swarm
My dad used to crack jokes standing above our fireplace.
Now he's passed the mantle on to me.
What do you get when you put a saxophonist in a freezer?
Cool jazz.
Go to BabaMail
