At what point will you love to change your bulbs the most?
When sparks fly.
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.
How did the electrician pay for his new phone?
He charged it.
I think my window air conditioner needs an ambulance.
It keeps hyperventilating.
What did the blender say to his crush?
"I have mixed feelings about you, but we might blend together perfectly."
Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words
Why did the man eat the light bulb? He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.”
They call the first episode of a TV show a "Pilot", because anyone can fly a plane for a couple seconds....
But you have to prove your jokes can land.
What do you call a Smart TV?
In-telly-gent.
I tried to taste the hot light bulb
But I got my tungstenned.
I love lamps.
They're so enlightening.
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
And the lord said unto John "come forth and you shall have eternal life"
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Normally three, but Toucan.
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
What did the sad lamp say when plugged in?
"I finally feel better now that I’ve got an emotional outlet."
What's the first tea that comes in a teapot?
empytea
The superconductor left without resistance.
Phil told me about what lights up a light bulb.
But I didn’t know what Phil-a-meant.
Asked my boy to put the kettle on.
He said, "I don't think it'll fit me"
What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?
"That experience was chilling."
How did the small oven greet the large oven?
He Microwaved.
I bring my TV remote into every sports bar I go to so I can change the channel to whatever I want.
It’s a real game changer
What do you call the art of Freezer meditation?
Fro-zen!
Today I found out my toaster isn't waterproof
I was shocked.
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
Last night me and the wife watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.
It was a reduction.
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Stick him in an oven until his Bill Withers
My friend asked me why I was wearing a lamp shade over my face.
I replied, "I am feeling light headed."
What’s the best tool to install an electrical plug with?
A socket wrench.
What do you call a fake pastry?
A prop tart!
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
What is an electrician’s favorite flavor of ice cream? Shock-a-lot.”
I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful...
But it turns out to just be blowing hot air.
I went to shop for a toaster. The sailsman showed me all the fancy features.
I said "wow, that's cool!"
And he replied, "Sorry ma'am,it can only warm"
What do you call an ironing board that makes your clothes more wrinkly?
An irony board.
How did the pizza escape the oven?
Through the dough!
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
I sold my cleaning equipment.
It was just collecting dust.
Today, I changed a light bulb, crossed a street, and walked into a bar.
My life is a joke.
I got arrested at work today for moving my desk away from the air conditoner vent.
I was charged with draft-dodging!
What did the lamps do after their date?
They got turned on.
My friend dragged me to a lecture about lamps. I though it would be boring but...
It was very illuminating.
I'm thinking about writing a book about lamps. I think its a bright idea
My new toaster oven is a huge improvement for making lunch.
I used to eat unappetizing sandwiches but I quit cold turkey.
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
Did you hear about the abusive flashlight? It was charged with battery.
Go to BabaMail
