What type of fish do two sodium atoms make?
2Na.
Books on helium are so hard to put down.
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
Sorry, that was my fault.
Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
"HeHe."
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up together, would they be alloys?
Ah! The element of surprise.
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
Marsh-mole-ows
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
What do doctors do to injured elements? They helium.
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
When Miss Acid told her husband, Mr Alkali, she was pregnant...
He exploded with anger.
It wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.
Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
When hydrogen got arrested they told him he had one phone call.
He replied: "Call who? I don't have a family!"
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
What did the generous mole say when people crashed his party?
The mole the merrier
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?
A bunch of mole-asses
Did you check the news? There was a Radon the chemical store.
You know what's cool about chemistry?
Endothermic reactions.
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
What did one mole say to the other?
We have great chemistry together.
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
Who brings colorful eggs to chemist's kids every spring?
The Ether Bunny.
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