What did one mole say to the other?
We have great chemistry together.
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
What did the generous mole say when people crashed his party?
The mole the merrier
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here."
Helium doesn't react.
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Why did the acid go to the gym?
It wanted to become a buffer solution.
When Miss Acid told her husband, Mr Alkali, she was pregnant...
He exploded with anger.
It wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
Ah! The element of surprise.
When hydrogen got arrested they told him he had one phone call.
He replied: "Call who? I don't have a family!"
What do doctors do to injured elements? They helium.
What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?
Water-mole-ns
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
I am out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.
Why don't they galvanize ships?
Because that would make them zinc.
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
What are mammoles?
Four-legged ani-moles
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
Which tooth did Avogadro have pulled?
One of his mole-ars
I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
Who brings colorful eggs to chemist's kids every spring?
The Ether Bunny.
What do you call a cab which provides drug therapy? Chemotaxis.
What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?
A bunch of mole-asses
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
Sorry, that was my fault.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
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