Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up together, would they be alloys?
What kind of bears dissolve in water?
Polar bears.
What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
Marsh-mole-ows
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
"HeHe."
Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?
A bunch of mole-asses
You know what's cool about chemistry?
Endothermic reactions.
I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
Which tooth did Avogadro have pulled?
One of his mole-ars
Why did the acid go to the gym?
It wanted to become a buffer solution.
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
I can eat sugar with either hand, I'm ambidextrose.
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
What are mammoles?
Four-legged ani-moles
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
When hydrogen got arrested they told him he had one phone call.
He replied: "Call who? I don't have a family!"
What do doctors do to injured elements? They helium.
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