What do doctors do to injured elements? They helium.
I can eat sugar with either hand, I'm ambidextrose.
Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
Who brings colorful eggs to chemist's kids every spring?
The Ether Bunny.
When hydrogen got arrested they told him he had one phone call.
He replied: "Call who? I don't have a family!"
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
What do you call an acid with attitude?
A meano-acid.
What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?
Water-mole-ns
Ah! The element of surprise.
I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.
Why did the acid go to the gym?
It wanted to become a buffer solution.
Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
When life gives you mold - make penicillin.
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
What did one mole say to the other?
We have great chemistry together.
Did you check the news? There was a Radon the chemical store.
When Miss Acid told her husband, Mr Alkali, she was pregnant...
He exploded with anger.
It wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
What do you do with a sick chemist? You try to helium, and then you try to curium, but if all else fails, you gotta barium.
What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?
A bunch of mole-asses
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
Marsh-mole-ows
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
Sorry, that was my fault.
I am out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.
Why don't they galvanize ships?
Because that would make them zinc.
Books on helium are so hard to put down.
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up together, would they be alloys?
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
What did the generous mole say when people crashed his party?
The mole the merrier
How did the blond define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? Fear of utility bills.
What kind of bears dissolve in water?
Polar bears.
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
What do you call a cab which provides drug therapy? Chemotaxis.
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
What are mammoles?
Four-legged ani-moles
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
"HeHe."
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
Go to BabaMail
