What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
I can eat sugar with either hand, I'm ambidextrose.
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
What did the generous mole say when people crashed his party?
The mole the merrier
When Miss Acid told her husband, Mr Alkali, she was pregnant...
He exploded with anger.
It wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.
Why don't they galvanize ships?
Because that would make them zinc.
What did one mole say to the other?
We have great chemistry together.
What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?
A bunch of mole-asses
I am out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.
What are mammoles?
Four-legged ani-moles
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
What do you call an acid with attitude?
A meano-acid.
Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.
If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up together, would they be alloys?
What illness kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
Mole-onucleosis
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
Sorry, that was my fault.
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
Did you check the news? There was a Radon the chemical store.
Which tooth did Avogadro have pulled?
One of his mole-ars
You know what's cool about chemistry?
Endothermic reactions.
What do you call a cab which provides drug therapy? Chemotaxis.
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
How did the blond define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? Fear of utility bills.
What do doctors do to injured elements? They helium.
Why did the acid go to the gym?
It wanted to become a buffer solution.
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here."
Helium doesn't react.
What kind of bears dissolve in water?
Polar bears.
An electrolyte and a solvent are talking in jail.
Solvent: What are you in for?
Electrolyte: A salt charge.
Books on helium are so hard to put down.
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
Ah! The element of surprise.
What type of fish do two sodium atoms make?
2Na.
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
Go to BabaMail
