An electrolyte and a solvent are talking in jail.
Solvent: What are you in for?
Electrolyte: A salt charge.
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
"HeHe."
I am out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.
Books on helium are so hard to put down.
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?
A bunch of mole-asses
Why don't they galvanize ships?
Because that would make them zinc.
Which tooth did Avogadro have pulled?
One of his mole-ars
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
What do you do with a sick chemist? You try to helium, and then you try to curium, but if all else fails, you gotta barium.
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
Ah! The element of surprise.
When life gives you mold - make penicillin.
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
What do you call a cab which provides drug therapy? Chemotaxis.
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
Sorry, that was my fault.
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
Marsh-mole-ows
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.
I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
I can eat sugar with either hand, I'm ambidextrose.
I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up together, would they be alloys?
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
What type of fish do two sodium atoms make?
2Na.
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
You know what's cool about chemistry?
Endothermic reactions.
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
How did the blond define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? Fear of utility bills.
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
What do doctors do to injured elements? They helium.
What illness kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
Mole-onucleosis
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
Why did the acid go to the gym?
It wanted to become a buffer solution.
What do you call an acid with attitude?
A meano-acid.
What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?
Water-mole-ns
What are mammoles?
Four-legged ani-moles
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