How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
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