How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
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