How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
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