What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
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