The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.