What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
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