A brain aneurysm would be swell.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
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