What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
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