A brain aneurysm would be swell.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
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