The Queen of the Nile was said to always show a bit of leg...
but Nefertiti.
What does a skeleton play in a band?
A Trom-Bone.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
What’s it called your backpack messes up your spine?
Schooliosis !
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
My cardiologist friend keeps sending me x-rays of his chest.
A bit weird, I know, but it just shows his heart is in the right place.
As a mythologist and head of the household,
My word is lore.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after he broke his left arm in a bar fight.
He still has the right to remain silent.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
No! You can't force me to shave my forearms!
I have a right to bear arms!
My son was injected with poisoned blood from a person from Finland
He said "I am finnished."
You’ve stolen my heart. I hereby place you under cardiac arrest.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
You’re my heartthrob.
"I would make a skeleton joke, but you wouldn't find it very
humerus."
What do you call a dog that likes to dig up bones?
A barkeologist.
Someone just asked me to sing any line from "Don't go breaking my heart."
I couldn't if I tried.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
What do you call two spine bones that are friends?
Vertebros.
How does the Pope dry his hands?
He uses a Papal towel.
You’re so beautiful, I can heartly believe my eyes.
Girlfriend was working on the motorcycle with me the other day...
She exclaimed "God! This is ridiculous. I need, like, four arms to do this!".
To which I replied "but honey, you DO have forearms!"
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
What do you call a father who’s against hand bags?
Antiperspirant.
Working the poker table at the casino with my new prosthetic hand is going to be a challenge,
But I’ll learn to deal with it.
Doctor said I’m at risk of having a heart attack due to high sodium intake.
I took what he said with a grain of salt.
Guy walks into a tailor shop to pick up his suit. The tailor hands him a jacket and pair of pants. The guy says “But I had a 3-piece suit.”
Tailor says “The vest is yet to come.”
You should follow your heart, but keep in mind to take your brain too.
I just found out that my son got a tattoo of spades, diamonds, hearts, and clubs on his arm.
I might have to deal with him later.
Why did the little girl color her paper heart pink rather than red?
She was feeling lighthearted.
I surprised my friend as she was trying to steal another spine from a corpse...
She was takin' a back when taken aback!
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to the body shop.
The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement
A lease in Wonderland.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
I find bone puns very
Humerus.
Why aren’t skeletons good at poker?
You can see right through them.
My dad told me to finish his bird painting. He painted the head, torso and legs.
To be honest, I just winged it.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
My mom always says that the stomach is the best way to a man’s heart. That’s why she is a bad surgeon.
No body has ever won a skeleton race.
What is a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai tree.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a pool?
Bob.
I boiled a funny bone once.
It turned into a laughing stock.
What did the police officer say to the hand?
Stop! You are under a wrist!
What are the two most profane bones in the human body?
The blasfemurs.
I can't stand people who don't wash their hands.
They make me sick.
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
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