I can't stand people who don't wash their hands.
They make me sick.
Why are skeletons such bad liars?
Everyone can see right through them.
What do you call two spine bones that are friends?
Vertebros.
What do you say when you go to a dinner with a bunch of osteopathologists?
Bone appetit!
You know, the heart’s the hungriest organ.
It has the heartiest appetite.
What did the dinosaur say to his lover?
You make my heart saur!
I lost my wrist watch somewhere near my house.
Now it’s the neighborhood watch.
My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.
It was like love meant nothing to her.
That girl must be a premature contraction as she makes my heart skip a beat.
My head hurt and I had a really runny nose during math class
I think i had a sin(x) infection.
My doctor forgot to document my blood type.
It was a typo.
Have you heard of the story about the campanologist without arms?
Doesn't ring a bell.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
Why do skeletons get sick on windy days?
It goes right through them.
What do we call two birds that are in love?
Tweet-hearts!
Some guy wanted to charge me a bunch of money for a second hand bouncy house.
But I wasn't sure if that was something I really wanted to jump into.
What bone does a dog not eat?
A trombone.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
Does anybody remember the joke I posted about my spine?
It was about a weak back.
I tried my hand at cinematography, but it didn't really pan out.
What did the vampire say to the vampire hunter that missed his heart.
Well wasnt that an unfortunate missed-stake.
A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.
The poor man dyed a loan.
"Bone to be wild."
What kind of car did the heart surgeon drive to work?
A beater.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
My friend always sleeps with his head on a bag of rice
He said it was a type of pilau.
I went to the Red Cross to donate blood.
They threw me out and said "We don't want your type here!"
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
How do two skeletons have se*?
They bone each other.
I’m directing a play about a boy who broke his arm.
You should see the cast.
When my girlfriend told me she needed time and distance, my heart almost stopped,
Fortunately, she was just calculating velocity.
Working the poker table at the casino with my new prosthetic hand is going to be a challenge,
But I’ll learn to deal with it.
Why did the T-Rex only sell hand-guns?
He was a small-arms dealer.
My favourite jokes are skeleton puns
Why? I find them humorous.
The Genie granted my wish for longer arms, but he warned me My wish would have far reaching consequences.
How did the gambler know his hand would stink?
Because he was holding deuces.
I need to stop being such a numbskull.
A pile of books fall onto Sean Connery's head
He exclaims: "I only have my shelf to blame!"
I don't mind leg day at the gym.
It's just the two days after that I can't stand.
The nurse made my heart skip a beat
It was fine after she plugged the life support back in.
You know what really makes my blood boil?
The vacuum of space.
The sound of my bones really cracks me up.
Well, you have to hand it to relay runners, don't you?
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
I can't stand when people kick me in the back of the leg.
As a mythologist and head of the household,
My word is lore.
How do you call a man who can cook an egg on his head?
pan o man.
What is a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai tree.
What did the heart say to the brain before an exam?
You look nervous.
Go to BabaMail
