Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
I went to the hospital for chest pains but the doctor kept inspecting my spine.
This place is back wards.
I had to give an impromptu speech on a piece of cloth that encircles the wrist...
I spoke off the cuff on the cuff.
6:30 is hands down the best time on a clock
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
"Do you play the trom-bone?"
Why did the pianist have to be rushed into surgery after his latest performance?
He played his heart out.
"Laughing 'til I'm coffin."
What did the police officer say to the hand?
Stop! You are under a wrist!
I gave my heart to a girl from Great Britain.
She turns around and Brexit into a million pieces.
I took a blood test today
It was easy. I got A+, and I didn't even have to study!
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
What's the quickest way to a man's heart?
His chest.
I'm surprised you all aren't talking more about that drug with the side effect of making scalps wrinkled.
I mean, it's been making a LOT of head lines.
Where do you learn about bones?
Osteoclasst.
When it came to tilling his garden by hand, he put a lot of heart into it.
He was gung hoe.
A golfer had a heart attack and died on the way to the hospital. He was on a fairway to heaven.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
Why are skeletons such bad liars?
Everyone can see right through them.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
What’s a skeletons favorite wrestling event?
A rib cage match.
I just found out that my son got a tattoo of spades, diamonds, hearts, and clubs on his arm.
I might have to deal with him later.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
One day, I looked to my spine and said
Thanks for all the support! Thanks to you we've grown to new heights.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
Did you hear about the bear with the bad heart?
It went into kodiak arrest.
Restrooms in restaurants often have a sign saying "Employees must wash hands".
But after waiting hours, no one has ever helped me with mine!
"No body won the skeleton race."
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
What is it called when a tree has spine problems?
ScoliOAKsis.
What do you call two spine bones that are friends?
Vertebros.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
How do skeleton’s get their mail delivered?
By the bony express.
What kind of car did the heart surgeon drive to work?
A beater.
I can heartly wait to see you again.
My dad has the heart of a lion...
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Does anybody remember the joke I posted about my spine?
It was about a weak back.
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to the body shop.
Why do skeletons never move?
Because they have too much Skelatonin.
I'd give me right arm to be ambidextrous!
"Lazy bones."
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
Started reading a book called “The Pirate’s Wrist”
I’m hooked.
Honey! I know this can be a bit cheesy, but you will always have a big pizza my heart.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
That girl must be a premature contraction as she makes my heart skip a beat.