I'm surprised you all aren't talking more about that drug with the side effect of making scalps wrinkled.
I mean, it's been making a LOT of head lines.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts.
What do you call a guy that hands out free kebabs to the hungry?
A Döner.
I can't stand people who don't wash their hands.
They make me sick.
I'd give me right arm to be ambidextrous!
What blood type does a pessimist have?
B Negative
What do you call someone who loves dark beer?
Stouthearted.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
What bug has 100 legs and lives by the outhouse?
Scenta-Peed.
Did you know you can hear blood flowing close to the skin?
You just have to listen varicosely.
Why couldn't the skeleton get a date to the dance?
He doesn't have the heart to ask anyone out.
What happened to the patient who refused to get a much-needed transplant?
He had a change of heart.
I broke both my legs yesterday and now I have to use a wheelchair
I really can’t stand my situation right now.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
I find bone puns very
Humerus.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
I lub dub you with all my heart.
Have you heard of the story about the campanologist without arms?
Doesn't ring a bell.
My dad just told me something that sent a chill down my spine.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
Someone said, "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."
So I through a dictionary at them.
I tried my hand at cinematography, but it didn't really pan out.
I broke my spine in an accident last year. Had a life saving operation to fix my neck which permanently locked my head in place.
Since then I've never looked back.
6:30 is hands down the best time on a clock
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after he broke his left arm in a bar fight.
He still has the right to remain silent.
Bonnie Tyler has released a video all about cardiology.
It’s totally clips of the heart.
Why couldn’t the skeleton get out of bed?
He was bone tired.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
I think my back hurts. I'm okay though.
It's spine.
"I have a joke about hearts, but I don't think you will get it."
"Why?"
"Because it is an inside joke."
Asked my son what his favourite thing about Popeye was.
He said, "Forearms."
I said, "No, he only has two."
I got a new bread recipe where you don’t have to get your hands messy by mixing the dough.
It is kneadless, to say.
Why do skeletons get sick on windy days?
It goes right through them.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
The guy who invented the watch must have had a lot of time on his hands
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
Some guy wanted to charge me a bunch of money for a second hand bouncy house.
But I wasn't sure if that was something I really wanted to jump into.
Working the poker table at the casino with my new prosthetic hand is going to be a challenge,
But I’ll learn to deal with it.
My cardiologist friend keeps sending me x-rays of his chest.
A bit weird, I know, but it just shows his heart is in the right place.
What did the doctor give the lollipop when he broke his leg
A candy cane.
Why do youngsters like pelvic bones so much?
Because they're hip.
The sound of my bones really cracks me up.
Doctor Doctor I've broken my arm in four places.
Docter: Well stop going to those 4 places then!
I bought a bunch of antique spears online, but they arrived without their spear heads.
I got shafted.
How did the gambler know his hand would stink?
Because he was holding deuces.
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