How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
You’re my heartthrob.
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
How does the Pope dry his hands?
He uses a Papal towel.
When we put our two hearts together, we can’t be beat.
Always think hard before you get married because on one hand you have a cool ring but on the other hand you don’t.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Why are hands so reliable?
Because you can always count on them.
What do you call two spine bones that are friends?
Vertebros.
I'm going to get the numbers 1 through 30 tattooed up my arm.
That way people can always count on me.
What do you call it when the axe in your hand falls on your feet.
An AXEIDENT.
What do you call two spine bones that are friends?
Vertebros.
Dogs can't see your bones.
But catscan.
What do you call a crazy blood-sucking parasite?
A lunatick!
My sister asked me to hand her lipstick but i handed her a glue stick instead
She still won’t talk to me
"Dying to have fun."
My cranium is empty. I'm running bone-dry here.
Where do skeletons go hang out at night?
Anywhere, as long as it's a hip joint.
How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
I surprised my friend as she was trying to steal another spine from a corpse...
She was takin' a back when taken aback!
A mime in our town was arrested yesterday after he got into a bar fight and broke his left arm.
He still has the right to remain silent.
Which alphabet gang strikes fear in the hearts of the other letters?
I Q U.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts.
Guy walks into a tailor shop to pick up his suit. The tailor hands him a jacket and pair of pants. The guy says “But I had a 3-piece suit.”
Tailor says “The vest is yet to come.”
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
Have you heard of the story about the campanologist without arms?
Doesn't ring a bell.
I like to reminisce about the surgeon who removed my spine.
Really takes me back.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
Some guy wanted to charge me a bunch of money for a second hand bouncy house.
But I wasn't sure if that was something I really wanted to jump into.
What do you call an Irish dancer having a heart attack?
Michael flatline.
A lady stormed off when I asked about her hand bag.
Maybe the question was to pursonal.
What do you call a martial artist who injured his leg?
Bruised Knee.
"Do you play the trom-bone?"
What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs and hang on the wall?
Curt 'n Rod.
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
Did you know you can hear blood flowing close to the skin?
You just have to listen varicosely.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
Cutting my arms was the best descision I've ever made
Hands down.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
Asked my son what his favourite thing about Popeye was.
He said, "Forearms."
I said, "No, he only has two."
Near the town of Hannah Montana people found a dinosaur skeleton.
Scientists identified it as a Mileysaurus.
what do doctors use to draw blood?
A needle?
No, a red crayon!
Two meth heads start a relationship, is that considered speed dating
or just mething around?
A pile of books fall onto Sean Connery's head
He exclaims: "I only have my shelf to blame!"
My local pizza place is selling heart shaped pizzas for Valentine’s Day
I find it to be a bit cheesy.
I boiled a funny bone once.
It turned into a laughing stock.
Don't you just hate it when it's 212 degrees outside? It really just makes my blood boil.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
Go to BabaMail
