A chemical in science class can make your hands go numb
But math will make you number.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs lying on a pile of leaves?
Russle.
So my blood test came back positive.
Turns out I’m full of the stuff.
Two meth heads start a relationship, is that considered speed dating
or just mething around?
When it came to tilling his garden by hand, he put a lot of heart into it.
He was gung hoe.
What do you call a crazy blood-sucking parasite?
A lunatick!
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
what does goblin's blood consist of?
A hemogoblin
What’s it called your backpack messes up your spine?
Schooliosis !
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
What is a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai tree.
Where do you learn about bones?
Osteoclasst.
Honey! I know this can be a bit cheesy, but you will always have a big pizza my heart.
How do skeleton’s get their mail delivered?
By the bony express.
I auditioned to be a carpenter’s hand.
Nailed it.
The nurse made my heart skip a beat
It was fine after she plugged the life support back in.
What do you call a person missing 75%, of their spine?
A quarterback.
I surprised my friend as she was trying to steal another spine from a corpse...
She was takin' a back when taken aback!
My dad told me to finish his bird painting. He painted the head, torso and legs.
To be honest, I just winged it.
Two blood cells can meet and fall in love with each other, but it is all in vein.
I think I'm going to remove my spine.
It's only holding me back.
You’re so beautiful, I can heartly believe my eyes.
Midwife (handing me the baby): "Make sure you’re supporting his head."
Me: "That’s a great head you have there, Well done!"
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
I’m directing a play about a boy who broke his arm.
You should see the cast.
"Dying to have fun."
While browsing the bookshop, I stuck a sheet of A4 paper to my wife's spine.
She said she wanted a paperback for her birthday.
Why can’t a legless skeleton win an argument?
They don’t have a leg to stand on.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs and hang on the wall?
Curt 'n Rod.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
Always think hard before you get married because on one hand you have a cool ring but on the other hand you don’t.
What do you call a man with no legs and no arms resting on a porch?
Matt.
Did you hear about the cardiologist who went to great lengths to win the heart of a hematologist?
It was all in vein.
My wife bought me an expensive umbrella and she’s been holding it over my head ever since.
My dad has the heart of a lion...
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Two detectives interrogate a 37 year old mute man. The detectives give the man a notepad which he scribbles on for a few seconds, and hands back to them.
"I'll never talk."
Don't you just hate it when it's 212 degrees outside? It really just makes my blood boil.
I know a guy who had both arms amputated from elbow to shoulder.
He is always serious and never humerus.
What's a skeletons favorite activity?
Boning.
What has four legs and one arm?
A rottweiler at a park.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
The xylobone.
Sigmund Freud used to always wear a piece of jewelry on his wrist...
It was an id bracelet.
What do you call a woman with one leg?
ILENE.
A balding magician had an act where he'd put a rabbit on his head and make it disappear...
The hare vanished into thin hair.
Go to BabaMail
