What’s the coolest part of a skeleton?
The hip.
Why aren’t skeletons good at poker?
You can see right through them.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts.
What do you call someone who loves dark beer?
Stouthearted.
How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
What do you call a carnival worker who’s eating a turkey leg?
A carnie-vor.
What do you call a father who’s against hand bags?
Antiperspirant.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
Asked my son what his favourite thing about Popeye was.
He said, "Forearms."
I said, "No, he only has two."
How do you call a man who can cook an egg on his head?
pan o man.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
A mime in our town was arrested yesterday after he got into a bar fight and broke his left arm.
He still has the right to remain silent.
You’re my heartthrob.
Why did the T-Rex only sell hand-guns?
He was a small-arms dealer.
I broke my spine in an accident last year. Had a life saving operation to fix my neck which permanently locked my head in place.
Since then I've never looked back.
How do skeleton’s get their mail delivered?
By the bony express.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
My mother's sister was a gamble who enjoyed poker. She would heartily add to the initial pot but fold after the first hand...
We called her Auntie Up.
My doctor forgot to document my blood type.
It was a typo.
Stay away from Gmail if you don't want to get shivers down your spine
There's clearly a draft in there.
My dad told me to finish his bird painting. He painted the head, torso and legs.
To be honest, I just winged it.
A person without arms and a knife in their mouth is still technically armed,
but only to the teeth.
I got a new bread recipe where you don’t have to get your hands messy by mixing the dough.
It is kneadless, to say.
Why does the skeleton wear skinny jeans?
Because it’s got a marrow waistline.
You should follow your heart, but keep in mind to take your brain too.
Two detectives interrogate a 37 year old mute man. The detectives give the man a notepad which he scribbles on for a few seconds, and hands back to them.
"I'll never talk."
What vegetable lives in your heart?
Beets.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
Scientist are shocked after discovery of a new african bee species that can keep on flying even after their heart stops.
Local tribes in fear of a zombee apocalypse
What happened to the pirate who lost his peg leg?
He couldn't find it, so he was stumped.
What do you say when you go to a dinner with a bunch of osteopathologists?
Bone appetit!
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
Cutting my arms was the best descision I've ever made
Hands down.
When my girlfriend told me she needed time and distance, my heart almost stopped,
Fortunately, she was just calculating velocity.
How do a group of skeletons drive to work?
In the carpal lane.
I lub dub you with all my heart.
What do you call a woman with one leg?
ILENE.
I thought I broke my leg when I tripped over a box of Kleenex last night
But the doctor said it's only tissue damage.
what does goblin's blood consist of?
A hemogoblin
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
Which alphabet gang strikes fear in the hearts of the other letters?
I Q U.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
What do you call a crazy blood-sucking parasite?
A lunatick!
"Bugs and hisses."
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
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