What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
The nurse made my heart skip a beat
It was fine after she plugged the life support back in.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
What are the two most profane bones in the human body?
The blasfemurs.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
A monk, a priest and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type o"
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
I surprised my friend as she was trying to steal another spine from a corpse...
She was takin' a back when taken aback!
My wife threw a block of cheddar at my head
I said "Well that's mature."
I had to give an impromptu speech on a piece of cloth that encircles the wrist...
I spoke off the cuff on the cuff.
A pile of books fall onto Sean Connery's head
He exclaims: "I only have my shelf to blame!"
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
My mother's sister was a gamble who enjoyed poker. She would heartily add to the initial pot but fold after the first hand...
We called her Auntie Up.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
My favourite jokes are skeleton puns
Why? I find them humorous.
"You can't skele-run from my skele-puns."
What did one skeleton wrestler say to the other?
You better watch out for my special move. It will verta-break your back!
Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"
I couldn't if I tried.
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
What human body part is long, hard, bendable, and contains the letters p,e,n,i,s?
Your spine.
What do you call a toddler running towards their mother with arms high up in the air?
A quick pick-me-up.
Why didn’t one skeleton want to look at the other skeleton?
He didn’t have the stomach for it.
Asked my son what his favourite thing about Popeye was.
He said, "Forearms."
I said, "No, he only has two."
A friend failed his medical exam when he X-rayed his lower torso.
He didn’t put his heart into it.
My dad told me to finish his bird painting. He painted the head, torso and legs.
To be honest, I just winged it.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
I was terrified by the results of my blood test
But my doctor just said B positive
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
What do you call a woman with one leg?
ILENE.
What is a red heads favorite drink?
Ginger Ale.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
How do two skeletons have se*?
They bone each other.
What is it called when a tree has spine problems?
ScoliOAKsis.
No! You can't force me to shave my forearms!
I have a right to bear arms!
I bring my knees to my head and lean forwards.
That's just how I roll.
Why do youngsters like pelvic bones so much?
Because they're hip.
What do you call a fake bone?
A faux-knee.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
What do you call a skeleton who lies?
A phoney-ba-boney.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
Did you hear about the poker player who lost his arm and got a prosthetic replacement?
He’s finding it hard to deal with.
Why does the skeleton wear skinny jeans?
Because it’s got a marrow waistline.
Why did the thief cut the legs off his bed?
Because he needed to lie low.
I can't stand when people kick me in the back of the leg.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker
Hop In.
Two blood cells can meet and fall in love with each other, but it is all in vein.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
What do you call a dog that likes to dig up bones?
A barkeologist.
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