What do you call it when a pillow hits its head?
A concushion.
Why didn’t the skeleton feel like patching up his broken ribcage?
His heart wasn’t in it.
I went skiing with broken bones.
I can't afford real skis.
I'm going to get the numbers 1 through 30 tattooed up my arm.
That way people can always count on me.
I used to be engaged to a girl with a wooden leg.
But I broke it off.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
My daughter was just complaining about washing dishes by hand
I told her, “well... it’s better than washing them by foot.”
What are the two most profane bones in the human body?
The blasfemurs.
What did the skeleton bring to the potluck?
Spare ribs.
I don't mind leg day at the gym.
It's just the two days after that I can't stand.
what does goblin's blood consist of?
A hemogoblin
I tried making a machine that shoots bullets out of your fingers, but it shot out my spine instead.
Well, that back fired.
"Do you play the trom-bone?"
If a woman with big breasts works at Hooters, where does someone with one leg work?
IHOP.
What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs and hang on the wall?
Curt 'n Rod.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
You’re my heartthrob.
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
He had a bone to pick.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
I was walking down an alley in Scotland when I found a severed man's hand...
I wonder if he was kilt.
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