Why did the thief cut the legs off his bed?
Because he needed to lie low.
My cranium is empty. I'm running bone-dry here.
I'll fight you with my bear hands.
Oh, deer.
Someone just asked me to sing any line from "Don't go breaking my heart."
I couldn't if I tried.
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day. She said "Wow that's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand!"
I said "Come on you're just pulling my leg."
What did the doctor give the lollipop when he broke his leg
A candy cane.
Why was the skeleton stupid?
He was a numskull.
I had to give an impromptu speech on a piece of cloth that encircles the wrist...
I spoke off the cuff on the cuff.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
Where do you learn about bones?
Osteoclasst.
Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"
I couldn't if I tried.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
I need to stop being such a numbskull.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
Bonnie Tyler has released a video all about cardiology.
It’s totally clips of the heart.
What do you call a skeleton who lies?
A phoney-ba-boney.
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