I can't stand people who don't wash their hands.
They make me sick.
What can't cows stand on their hind legs?
Because they lactose.
You’re my heartthrob.
Well, you have to hand it to relay runners, don't you?
What’s a skeletons favorite wrestling event?
A rib cage match.
I tried my hand at cinematography, but it didn't really pan out.
I find that the quickest way to man's heart
is with a very very sharp knife.
"I would make a skeleton joke, but you wouldn't find it very
humerus."
"Let's have some skele-fun."
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
I went skiing with broken bones.
I can't afford real skis.
I don't mind leg day at the gym.
It's just the two days after that I can't stand.
What kind of car did the heart surgeon drive to work?
A beater.
No body has ever won a skeleton race.
Why can’t a legless skeleton win an argument?
They don’t have a leg to stand on.
What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree!
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
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