Why didn't the Romans have algebra?
Because X always equaled 10!
Why are 40 romans funny?
Because they are XD.
How did the Roman senators picked who will be first to stab the emperor?
They played rock paper Caesar
Why was the roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was roamin around during war.
How did kids in Ancient Rome get their hair cut?
With little Caesar's.
What was the most popular kids' movie in Ancient Greece?
Troy Story.
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I M L I VI D
It's impossible to ruin the view of the Colisseum.
Just landed in Rome, Italy. My pilot used to be a Franciscan Monk...
...But now he's an Air Friar.
Did you know they didn't have smart phones in ancient Rome?
They had tablets.
A Roman walks into a cafe and makes an "X" with his fingers.
He says, "Ten teas, please!"
Did Roman architecture emphasize forum over function?
I went to an XXX Girls Show in Rome
There were just 30 girls...
Julius Caesar
Was a well dressed romaine.
Where did the Romans go to rent their vehicles?
Herculease.
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
Why did Julius Caesar never say thank you to anyone?
He didn't speak English.
How good/bad was the Internet at the time of the Roman Emperors?
Let me put it that way: the lag was so bad it took Jesus three days just to respawn and he got disconnected soon afterwards.
Why did Rome Fall?
Because it slipped on some Greece.
Why did Julius Caesar go to the dermatologist?
Because he had so many lesions.
Doofus was the stupidest of Roman generals.
I think if Rome hadn't been built on a hill...
..it wouldn't have had such a fast decline.
My Ph.D thesis was on cattle raised in the Roman city of Pompeii. To understand it all I had to visit the ancient mooins.
I heard people are trying to ban roman numerals.
Not on my watch.
What did the gangster say to Julius Cesar?
People argue that the Romans were wrong to crucify Jesus
Personally, I think they nailed it.
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
What happens when a Roman insults a Parisian's coffee?
A French Roast.
What was Julius Caesar's answer when the flooring installer asked what he wanted to do with the old floor boards?
Carpet dem.
What do you call a musician who just saw Medusa?
A rockstar!
Did you know the first weather report was delivered to Julius Caesar?
Hail Caesar
You're my romeboy.
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
What time is it Julius? 8:02 Brutus.
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit?
Can't- elope!
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?
They always kill me.
If Romeo and Juliet were tuna...
they would be Starkist lovers.
What was the Romans' greatest achievement?
Learning to speak Latin!
The Romans must have thought the year three thousand was going to be tasty.
MMM
4 Norse gods, 1 roman God, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke
A Roman Lifeguard on duty:
See Caesar, Beware the tides of March!
Where did Julius Caesar's fans sit at the Colosseum?
The Caesarean section.
How did Julius Caesar like his water?
Rome temperature.
Why was Romeo melancholic?
Because Juliette Cantaloupe.
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
What do you call a depressed tick from ancient Rome?
A hopeless Roman Tick
Why did it take the Roman General 10 tries to find the buried treasure?
Because X marks the spot
Did you hear about the new Netflix series? The one about a couple of poor female artists living in 1600s Rome?
I think it's called Two Baroque Girls
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. "GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts we don't serve your type!
Which famous Roman suffered from hayfever?
Julius Sneezer.
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