What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
How did Cleopatra feel when she learned she was queen of Egypt?
She was in denial
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
How did architects earn a living in ancient Egypt?
Pyramid schemes
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
A soldier in ancient Egypt is eating his ice cream and quitting on the army
A deserter having his dessert in the desert about to desert his post.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
Who fixed people's backs in ancient Egypt?
Cairo practers.
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
What do you call a ruler of Egypt that hunts whales with a folding bed?
Futon Harpoon
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
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