Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?
It's quite bazaar
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?
Toot-and-come-in.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
How did architects earn a living in ancient Egypt?
Pyramid schemes
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
His daddy was his mummy!
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
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