What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt
I'm still in de-Nile
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
A soldier in ancient Egypt is eating his ice cream and quitting on the army
A deserter having his dessert in the desert about to desert his post.
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
What do you call a ruler of Egypt that hunts whales with a folding bed?
Futon Harpoon
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Who said that the pyramids are the tallest structure in Egypt? They are just between pyra-highs and pyra-lows.
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?
It's quite bazaar
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
Who was the most flatulent Pharaoh in all of old Egypt?
King Tootsarecommon.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
His daddy was his mummy!
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
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