What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
Who said that the pyramids are the tallest structure in Egypt? They are just between pyra-highs and pyra-lows.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt
I'm still in de-Nile
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
What do you call a ruler of Egypt that hunts whales with a folding bed?
Futon Harpoon
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
Who fixed people's backs in ancient Egypt?
Cairo practers.
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
See-Nile!
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
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