What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
How did architects earn a living in ancient Egypt?
Pyramid schemes
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
Who said that the pyramids are the tallest structure in Egypt? They are just between pyra-highs and pyra-lows.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt
I'm still in de-Nile
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
Who was the most flatulent Pharaoh in all of old Egypt?
King Tootsarecommon.
What do you call a ruler of Egypt that hunts whales with a folding bed?
Futon Harpoon
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
What's an Ancient Egyptian favorite restaurant?
Pizza Tut!
How did Cleopatra feel when she learned she was queen of Egypt?
She was in denial
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
Go to BabaMail
