Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
It’s a master peas.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
I hope for world peas.
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
I think therefore I yam.
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
I love you from my head tomato
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
What a spud muffin.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
Good work, we’re raising your annual celery
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.