How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
Say this aloud: Eye Yam Stew Peed
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
Happy Birthday to my best spud….get it? ? Spud…bud? ?
I like you a latke!
When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
Potato puns are a-peeling.
“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
We’re a perfect mash.
What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato.
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
I yam always very happy to eat sweet potatoes.
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
What do you call a potato that smokes weed? A baked potato.
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!
What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
I love you a tot!