What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?
Livarot.
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
What drives cheese crazy?
That everyone around them is crackers.
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
What wisdom did the daddy cheese pass down to his son?
A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
What pickup line can you use to pick up a cheese lover?
“Are you cheddar? ‘Cause you’re lookin’ sharp!”
What kind of cheese to beavers eat?
Edam.
What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
What did the cheese say to the other cheese? I smell something swiss-picious!
What do you call cheese who attends art openings?
Cultured.
What do you call a socialite made of cheese?
Paris Stilton.
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?
It got provolonely.
Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
Did you hear about the guy who had an addiction to cheddar cheese?
It was only mild.
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?
All that’s left is da brie.
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
What did the aged cheddar say when his mom told him he couldn’t see a movie that was rated R?
“I’m mature for my age.”
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
What cheese do beavers like? eDam
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that's all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.
What does a cheese lover say when someone keeps messing around with them?
“You gouda brie kidding!”
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.