Is your nickname cream cheese? Because you’re about to get bageled.
If you want to impress the crowd, hit overheads. Every point will be a smash hit.
A man named Martin Draw was campaigning for the Senate. He printed up shirts saying “I’m with Draw” to support his campaign. The next day, he wore the shirt to a tennis tournament. When he walked up to the tournament desk, the director handed him his money back and asked him why he couldn’t play.
Oh, I thought I was playing the first round, but I guess I got a free pass. Bye.
I got so mad at my partner hitting moonballs, I had to pusher off the court.
A hippie when his opponent disputes his calls: That’s pretty far-out, man!
Have you ever played quiet tennis?
It's just like regular tennis but without the racket.
I want to play my match outdoors so I can hit the ball higher in the air. I’m not good at persuading people, so I’m going to hire a lob-byist.
I like my breakfast like my tennis grip: Continental.
I wish they’d change the scoring system, but tennis is set in its ways and doesn’t see the point.
I tried to hit the picture cleanly over the fence, but it was framed.
I prefer the new system to reviewing line calls. When Hawk-eye came around, I breathed a big Cy-clops of relief.
I know my shot was in. But I won’t argue, because I’m not up for the challenge.
You can never get short balls over the net! Solution: Drop shot from arsenal.
They call me Ace, because you just got served.
Pick-up line: You might as well play be a tennis player, because I’m about to court you girl.
Most of your players never make it out of the lower-level tournaments. I highly doubt their Futures as a professional.
The injured player wanted to congratulate the winner, but he couldn’t walkover to the other side of the court.
It feels great to hit the ball again. It spin a long time.
Tennis is a lot like waiting tables. The most important thing to get right is the first serve.
The walls in this tennis factory are so thin, that when I try to get some work done, all I hear is people making a racquet.
Too bad my serve hit the tape. Well, at least they’ll LET me hit it again.
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