May the mass times acceleration be with you.
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself on the television?
HDMI
Why can you tell that Theresa May failed physics?
She had power and time but didn't get the work done.
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws!
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, does that make YOU a vacuum cleaner?
Vegetarians in the sixth century were called peasants.
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
The frequency of bad physics puns on this category...
It hertz.
What did the lamp say to the flickering candle?
"Do you want to go out sometime soon?"
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
How did the dog learn to read the hieroglyphics? Because it was an egypt-chien.
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
Who is a geologist’s favorite band?
The Rolling Stones.
What is the difference between a geologist and a chemist? A chemist will drink anything that is distilled. A geologist will drink anything that is fermented.
That boy narrated his-story really well.
What did the dough say after half an hour in the oven?
I’m bready.
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
While teaching about the Mongol Empire in History class, our teacher told us, "If anyone Khan, Genghis Khan."
What is fruity and burns?
The grape fire of London.
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
"HeHe."
How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Moataboat
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
When I asked my History teacher if he knew about Einstein's origin and history, he said, "I am relatively aware of it."
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
What do mushrooms watch on TV?
Spores.
Why did Rome Fall?
Because it slipped on some Greece.
Did you know that back in medieval times, soldiers would sleep with lanterns next to them so they could see if something happened.
They were called "Knight Lights"
Nobody knows about Napoleon's brother because they were born-apart-e.
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
My electrician friend accidentally blew the power to the ice-making factory. Now they’ve gone into liquidation.
What did the lamp eat?
A light snack...
What happens when you put your hand in a blender?
You get a hand shake.
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
Did you guys hear about that 14-year old virgin girl who got pregnant after receiving the flu vaccine?
Sounds like an inoculate conception.
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
I had a friend who got a Ph.D. in the history of Palindromes. He is now called Dr. Awkward.
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
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