What do you call an angle that is adorable?
Acute angle.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
King Arthur's Round Table was built by Sir Cumference.
My physics teacher told me i had so much potential, so much energy.
Then I fell down the stairs and lost it all.
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
Hey, have you heard about....
A gladiator whose arms and legs been cut off in a fight? Well, I heard that he's been disarmed and defeated.
I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
What did the dough say after half an hour in the oven?
I’m bready.
The frequency of bad physics puns on this category...
It hertz.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
Something is odd about my hot stove.
I just can't quite put my finger on it.
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
What do you call a Roman with a wet mustache and a smile?
Gladiator.
After the Palace of Versailles was completed, Louis XIV felt Baroque and roll.
I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.
It was a reduction.
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
What do you call a bad electrician? A shock absorber!
What does a biologist wear when they're going out?
Designer genes.
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I M L I VI D
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
If Russia wants to be the first country to produce a vaccine ...
... Then Soviet.
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws!
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
What do math and history have in common?
They both teach people about inequalities.
What is a wise, old priest's favorite kitchen appliance?
The deep friar.
What do you call the leader of a biology gang?
The Nucleboss.
Hey why Are The Viruses All Gone? Cause They "flu" AWAY.
I like my pasta the way I like my medieval Italian literature.
All Dante.
Don't ever change a light bulb while the oven is on
You'll get burned out
I've been trying to think of an electrical pun but now my head Hertz.
As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...
And chill out.
I just finished my masters in engineering with a concentration in adhesives...
Within the next year I want to publish my first book on tape.
hy don’t calculus major throw house parties?
Because they know firsthand that it’s a bad idea to drive and derive.
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
When the proposal of building a parking lot was given to Richard III, he told said, "Over my dead body."
My nerdy friend just got a PhD on the history of palindromes.
We now call him Dr. Awkward.
The First World War ended very quickly because they were Russian.
So earlier I took my clothes from the washer and threw them into the dryer.
I can't be sure how they felt about that, but they seemed agitated.
Why did the geologist go on a date to the quarry?
He wanted to be a little boulder.
How do you do math in your head?
Just use imaginary numbers.
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
During the Great Depression, President Hoover didn't give a dam.
An electrician needed to change 8 fluorescent lamps to brighten up a large conference room at our office. I asked him if he needed a hand carrying them.
He said no, this is light.
I threw my toaster into the toilet the other day.
It was a shock to the cistern.
How did the pizza escape the oven?
Through the dough!
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