What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?
A hot plate.
Franz Joseph constantly sour about everything because he was always Haydn.
After suffering weak gain at the poles, the National Transistor Party has been trying to energize their base.
Napoleon may not have designed the coat he wore, but he did have a hand in it.
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
What did the teacher do with her student's report on the history of cheese?
She grated it.
We had a lively debate in physics.
It was a conversation of energy.
My wife asked, “If someone’s body just isn’t fighting the virus, would getting the vaccine help?”
I told her I think it’s worth a shot.
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Two Pharaohs are looking for a Sarcophagus...
they walk up to the sarcophagus salesman and the first Pharaoh says "We are looking for the cheapest sarcophagus you have for sale." The salesman asks "you're not looking for a fancy one?"
The second Pharaoh says "no, we are just trying to get our mummy's worth."
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
What happens when you look up geology jokes? You know you've hit rock bottom!
Who led the Australians into the promised land, through a semipermeable membrane?
Ozmoses.
When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
Why is the air conditioner repairman the life of the party?
It’s not cool until he arrives.
A physics teacher is about to jump off a high bridge
When a friend stops him saying, "Don't do it, you have so much potential."
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexics Association.
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
We ran out of laundry detergent today and had to open up a new one.
It was a changing of the Tide.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th.
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
What did the dough say after half an hour in the oven?
I’m bready.
I hit my head on a light bulb today, but it’s okay.
It was a soft white.
Just landed in Rome, Italy. My pilot used to be a Franciscan Monk...
...But now he's an Air Friar.
Who is a geologist’s favorite band?
The Rolling Stones.
What was written on a knight's headstone?
Rust in peace.
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
What's black, white, purple, yellow and blue? Sugilite, opal, and sardonyx fighting over a gumball.
What do you call an Incarcerated late night TV show host?
Jimmy Felon.
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
Which famous Roman suffered from hayfever?
Julius Sneezer.
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
What did the geologist say when his doctor asked him if he was ready for his colonic? No FRACKING way!
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Why did the geologist go on a date to the quarry?
He wanted to be a little boulder.
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room. What do you think will happen? That's a mist-ery.
Go to BabaMail
