Why did the Pilgrims sail to America?
It was too far to swim.
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
On our way to buy a refrigerator, I saw my husband carrying a piece of paper with a giant X written on it. I asked, “What are you going to do with it?”
He said, “Let’s cross that fridge when we get there.”
Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
To get to the other tide.
I keep scores of my favorite iceboxes.
They're my refrigeRATINGS.
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
The Romans used devastating wordplay against the Carthaginians, during the Punic Wars.
Who takes care of saunas?
Humid Resources.
Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey tea? Because all proper tea is theft.
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
Why was Romeo melancholic?
Because Juliette Cantaloupe.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
If George Frederic Handel would be born in the modern era, his favorite song would be "Club Can't Even Handel Me."
What was the most popular kids' movie in Ancient Greece?
Troy Story.
I couldn't resist this flirty TV remote...
It was an instant turn on.
I don't think I need a spine.
It's holding me back.
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
What do the early European settlers in America have in common with ants?
They both lived in colonies!
My wife asked, “If someone’s body just isn’t fighting the virus, would getting the vaccine help?”
I told her I think it’s worth a shot.
When indoor toilets were introduced in Britain, it was considered to be a revo-loo-tionary move.
What is the difference between a geologist and a chemist? A chemist will drink anything that is distilled. A geologist will drink anything that is fermented.
Why are geologists never hungry?
They lost their apatite.
I got a C in Physics and my parents grounded me.
They say I don't understand the gravity of the situation.
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!”
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
What did the nuclear physicist have for lunch?
Fission Chips.
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
I think my heater is sick.
It's hot.
I went to a Church yard sale looking for a grill...
Unfortunately, they only had friars.
During the cold war all the countries involved went into hibernation.
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
What football team do energy providers root for the most?
The Chargers.
In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.
Why is a robot engineer never lonely? Because he’s always making new friends.
What to give your favorite electrical engineer for his birthday?
Shorts.
I gave my wife a lamp for our anniversary.
Someone’s getting LED tonight.
What do Alfred the Great and Ivan the Terrible have in common?
Their middle name.
Why couldn't the Bard seduce the Gelatinous Cube?
Because cubes are platonic solids.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions?
I haven’t seen you in light years.
Where did the Romans go to rent their vehicles?
Herculease.
Hitler jokes are rude, Anne Frankly I don't care.
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
I love Physics, but I'm terrible at Math.
I hope in doesn't Matter.
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
Go to BabaMail
