Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
The Romans used devastating wordplay against the Carthaginians, during the Punic Wars.
Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
What did the generous mole say when people crashed his party?
The mole the merrier
I keep asking my physics teacher "what is the unit for power?"
But he just saying "Yes."
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium?
He just couldn’t put it down.
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
Biology - It grows on you.
In the medieval ages, many knights had to travel throughout day and night. In order to increase their visibility in darkness, they invented a device known as the knightvision goggles.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I Lava You!
I was opening up all the vents in our house. My wife didn't understand why.
"You may think that's eVENTfull. You'll undestand why I do this eVENTually"
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. There is no time.”
What did the teacher do with her student's report on the history of cheese?
She grated it.
The frequency of bad physics puns on this category...
It hertz.
My heater won't stop running.
I swear it has no chill.
If you hit your head on a coffeemaker
Would it leave a brews?
Why did the freezer never graduate?
Because it was set on 0 degrees.
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz? He wasn’t too bright.”
My son asked me if I ate the leftovers he was saving in the refrigerator.
I told him "of course not - I ate them in the living room"
Have you heard about the roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
Physics puns are no joke. It’s a relatively dark matter.
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
Laundry puns?
I got loads of them.
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
What did the dough say after half an hour in the oven?
I’m bready.
What was the most common sandwich in Ancient Rome?
A Plebeian J
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
Who led the Australians into the promised land, through a semipermeable membrane?
Ozmoses.
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
How many software engineers do you need to change a light bulb?
None – it’s a hardware problem.
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
Why was the teapot sitting in the corner?
It was having a pour attitude.
After suffering weak gain at the poles, the National Transistor Party has been trying to energize their base.
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
What is a wise, old priest's favorite kitchen appliance?
The deep friar.
When the gladiators fought lions
it was always the mane event
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
We ran out of laundry detergent today and had to open up a new one.
It was a changing of the Tide.
Who's the most popular kitchen appliance?
The freezer, he's really cool
Did you hear about the urologist who became an aerospace engineer?
He developed an incontinental ballistic missile.
Why was the Geologist expelled from Reform School? He was a dirty layer!
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