Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
What is fruity and burns?
The grape fire of London.
Are electrons pessimistic or optimistic?
Obviously pessimistic, they are always negative!
England is the wettest country because many monarchs reigned there for many years.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
What happens when you look up geology jokes? You know you've hit rock bottom!
Julius Caesar
Was a well dressed romaine.
King Arthur's Round Table was built by Sir Cumference.
I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven
I guess I should have put it on aloha setting
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.
What's the Difference Between Mechanical & Civil Engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets.
My history teacher is a communist, so I made lots of references to the Soviet Union in my essay.
I got full marx.
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
Why is the air conditioner repairman the life of the party?
It’s not cool until he arrives.
Did you hear about the urologist who became an aerospace engineer?
He developed an incontinental ballistic missile.
When I was in school I got a B in biology, a C in chemistry.
And an F in Physics.
What do you call a catholic toaster strudel?
A pope tart.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
What is the warmest period in the history of the world's climate called?
Climax.
Looking for a boyfriend in engineering: the odds are good, but the goods are odd.
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
What's black, white, purple, yellow and blue? Sugilite, opal, and sardonyx fighting over a gumball.
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
Why did the man eat the light bulb?
He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
My parents always brought me up to believe the sky's the limit.
Which was a shame because I wanted to be an astronaut.
If someone else would have invented the airplane, it wouldn't have been Wright.
What explorer was the best at Hide and Seek?
Marco Polo.
4 Norse gods, 1 roman God, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
What's a snake's favorite subject to study in school? Hisssstory.
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time… I was shocked.”
My wife told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!”...
so I turned on the closed captioning.
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
After the Palace of Versailles was completed, Louis XIV felt Baroque and roll.
What do you call a medieval spearman who is self employed?
A freelancer.
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
Why do math teachers love parks so much?
Because of all the natural logs.
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb?
He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.
My least favorite teacher in the school is the History teacher. Whenever she takes a class on Ancient History, she tends to Babylon.
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
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