Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
Why should you never mess with a Gladiator who knows his English literature?
First he'll bellowulf at you, then he'll shakespeare
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
If you need an Ark, I Noah guy.
I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful...
But it turns out to just be blowing hot air.
I'm reading a book about metal fasteners.
Riveting stuff.
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
Physics is like incest.
It’s all relative.
How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Moataboat
What was the biologist wearing on his first date with a hot chick? Designer jeans.
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
An electrolyte and a solvent are talking in jail.
Solvent: What are you in for?
Electrolyte: A salt charge.
What do you call a turtle in a chef’s hat?
A slow cooker.
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
The frequency of bad physics puns on this category...
It hertz.
Julius Caesar: "Brutus, that's a very nice dagger, is it new?"
Brutus: "Thanks, and yes, they had a sale at Traitor Joe's."
What's the first tea that comes in a teapot?
empytea
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
My least favorite teacher in the school is the History teacher. Whenever she takes a class on Ancient History, she tends to Babylon.
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
What is blood's message to the world? B POSITIVE.
Air resistance is a real drag.
I studied archeology
Now my life is in ruins.
When Miss Acid told her husband, Mr Alkali, she was pregnant...
He exploded with anger.
It wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
Got my new blender yesterday but I can't tell if I like or not though...
It keeps giving me mixed results.
What do you get if you put kisses in a blender?
A Smoochie.
What did the Psychologist tell the geologist? "Every decline is a great Break Through"
When one is Russian for industrialization, there is no time for Stalin.
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
They already 8!
Why was the scuba diver failing Biology? Because he was below "C" level.
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
There's now a vaccine to make you better at geometry.
It's called Pythagorean Serum.
Julius Caesar
Was a well dressed romaine.
The Romans must have thought the year three thousand was going to be tasty.
MMM
What do you call a detective from the Reformation?
Martin Sleuther.
I was opening up all the vents in our house. My wife didn't understand why.
"You may think that's eVENTfull. You'll undestand why I do this eVENTually"
I just finished my masters in engineering with a concentration in adhesives...
Within the next year I want to publish my first book on tape.
What happens when a Roman insults a Parisian's coffee?
A French Roast.
How do you do math in your head?
Just use imaginary numbers.
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time?
You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
Serotonin and Dopamine: Technically, the only things you enjoy.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
My nerdy friend just got a PhD on the history of palindromes.
We now call him Dr. Awkward.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
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