The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
What do you call the leader of a biology gang?
The Nucleboss.
My physics professor told me I had potential
Then he pushed me off the roof.
According to a geologist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
What would a barefoot man get if he stepped on an electric fence? A pair of shocks.”
Why do Earth Science professors like to teach about ammonia?
Because it's basic material.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
"Is your dishwasher running?"
"Seeing as it doesn't have feet, it does not"
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
Why was the Geologist expelled from Reform School? He was a dirty layer!
Last night me and the wife watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
When the love of his life finally left him, young Fidel cried out in despair, "I didn't think you would embar go my dear one."
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
What do math and history have in common?
They both teach people about inequalities.
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
What do you call a musician who just saw Medusa?
A rockstar!
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
Where do electricians get their supplies? The Ohm Depot.
Some local engineers took a train for a service, but the vicar said it was blocking the aisle.
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
My vaccine dad joke failed.
But it was worth a shot.
What did the nuclear physicist have for lunch?
Fission Chips.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
What did Darth Vader tell the geologist?
May the quartz be with you!
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion.
Dwayne Johnson is studying his family history
Is that Genealogy or Geology?
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz?
He wasn’t too bright.
What do you call a Roman with a wet mustache and a smile?
Gladiator.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. There is no time.”
Organ donors really put their heart into it.
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
How long do you microwave fish?
Tuna half minutes!
Did you guys hear about that 14-year old virgin girl who got pregnant after receiving the flu vaccine?
Sounds like an inoculate conception.
KFC have hired geneticists to edit chicken DNA
Apparently they want something CRISPR.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
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