Don't ever change a light bulb while the oven is on
You'll get burned out
Why did the man eat the light bulb?
He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
How did the Roman senators picked who will be first to stab the emperor?
They played rock paper Caesar
I just finished my masters in engineering with a concentration in adhesives...
Within the next year I want to publish my first book on tape.
My physics professor told me I had potential
Then he pushed me off the roof.
What instrument never fails to energize a crowd?
An electric guitar.
What kind of plant generates the most energy? A power plant.”
Watson: Holmes, What kind of rock is this?
Holmes: Sedimentary, my dear Watson.
Working on lab science animals is a real rat race.
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
Why shouldn't you let a geologist drive your car?
Because they get hammered and stoned.
Organ donors really put their heart into it.
My parents always brought me up to believe the sky's the limit.
Which was a shame because I wanted to be an astronaut.
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
What is a vector’s favorite band? One Direction!
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
I love taking pictures of myself next to boiling kettles.
My friend reckons I have selfie steam issues
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
What did the ancient roman dad name his fat newborn?
Voluminous.
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
His daddy was his mummy!
Why did the geologist go on a date to the quarry?
He wanted to be a little boulder.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
I heard the government is going to put chips inside people with Covid vaccines...
I hope I get Doritos.
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
When I was in school I got a B in biology, a C in chemistry.
And an F in Physics.
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
I passed my degree in sound engineering. I got 1-2-1-2!
Name the subject that is most fruitiest among others. History because of it huge number of dates.
What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.
Why was the geologist always depressed?
He had a hard rock life.
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president...
Because I am washing-a-ton.
What do math and history have in common?
They both teach people about inequalities.
I started ironing my clothes...
To de-crease how bad I looked
What did the gladiator say when he was surrounded by nearly 100 men?
IC
My mixer broke down today. I'm very sad to part with it, I couldn't have whisked for a better friend.
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