During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
How did architects earn a living in ancient Egypt?
Pyramid schemes
What did the generous mole say when people crashed his party?
The mole the merrier
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
My Physics teacher said I have no potential.
Joke's on her, I just bought a ladder.
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed. He said, “I’m not sure, it’s hard to keep track.”
What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages? He was a man of many cultures.
She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt
I'm still in de-Nile
What Did The Gladiator Do With The Glory-Hole?
He put his spear in it.
I just finished my masters in engineering with a concentration in adhesives...
Within the next year I want to publish my first book on tape.
What do you call the gladiator who only tackles other gladiators?
Wrestle Crow.
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
How did the blond define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? Fear of utility bills.
Why are teapots so expensive?
Because they make you pour!
Hey kids! I went back in time and formed a British 80s pop group called The Vaccine!
And now The Cure is no longer necessary!
You know what's cool about chemistry?
Endothermic reactions.
Why did the Russian vaccine cross the road?
To get to the other side effects.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
What temperature do you set a toy oven?
Faux hundred degrees.
A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry...
I became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
I think if Rome hadn't been built on a hill...
..it wouldn't have had such a fast decline.
The colonized do not like British tea. They only want liber-tea.
Did you know knights are known for wearing dishware?
Thats why they call it plate armor.
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow.
It was our last warming.
Why were Native Americans in America first?
They had reservations.
What does a gladiator say when leaving after an intimate embrace with a woman?
Gladiator out
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
What's an Ancient Egyptian favorite restaurant?
Pizza Tut!
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion.
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
My English teacher told us to write about the history of our life. However, I hate writing, so I used AI to write it for me.
I guess you can say it's an auto-biography.
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder?
"Don't worry. I'm fine."
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
When the student had asked the History teacher what questions will be there for the History exam, she answered, "The Past."
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
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