What do you call a light bulb at midnight?
A Night Light.
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
What illness kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
Mole-onucleosis
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.
Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.
What did the king say when he heard that the peasants were revolting? He said he agrees because they never bathe and always stink.
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
Hitler jokes are rude, Anne Frankly I don't care.
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
What do you call a medieval spearman who is self employed?
A freelancer.
Power naps are great. You can really build up charge with them.
The interesting the about engineering Toilet Paper.
It's an a-ply-ed science.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb?
He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
What do you call a bad electrician? A shock absorber!
Who succeeded the first President of the United States?
The second one.
Why did the Russian vaccine cross the road?
To get to the other side effects.
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
Phil told me about what lights up a light bulb.
But I didn’t know what Phil-a-meant.
If someone else would have invented the airplane, it wouldn't have been Wright.
I love Physics, but I'm terrible at Math.
I hope in doesn't Matter.
What do math and history have in common?
They both teach people about inequalities.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
How do you know the moon is going broke?
It's down to its last quarter.
When you offered me love, I lepton it!
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
What do you call someone that's always stealing your heat?
A brrrglar!
How did the charger get rich?
He made a killing in the shock market.
The sweetest and fruitiest historical wonder of the world is the Grape Wall of China.
Why did the electrician marry his colleague? He couldn’t resistor.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
Why do anti vaxxers hate vaccine jokes?
They never get them.
What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark? Floodlights.
What do football players wear on their heads? Helminth
I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room. What do you think will happen? That's a mist-ery.
What does a confident kettle have
Self-e-steam
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
How do geologists like to relax? In rocking chairs, of course!
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