I am out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
My mixer broke down today. I'm very sad to part with it, I couldn't have whisked for a better friend.
What was the light bulb’s occupation?
He was a conductor
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
In the darkness, is where a flashlight really shines!
I asked my son to stop leaving the freezer door open.
I told him, “This is why we can’t have ice things.”
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
The cost of the space program is astronomical.
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She’s definitely plotting something.
When you offered me love, I lepton it!
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
According to a geologist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
How did the pizza escape the oven?
Through the dough!
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
What was Julius Caesar's answer when the flooring installer asked what he wanted to do with the old floor boards?
Carpet dem.
Something is odd about my hot stove.
I just can't quite put my finger on it.
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
What leads people to Rome?
The scents.
They want some aROMAtherapy.
Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
The First World War ended very quickly because they were Russian.
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp.
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
After which knight is a town in England named? Sir Rey!
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
My son asked me how I never seemed to lose the TV remote when he was growing up.
I told him I'd always put it in a location away from all the clutter...
A remote location.
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?
Bone-chilling.
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
Why are geologists so good in school?
They take nothing for granite.
That boy narrated his-story really well.
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
What do you call a kangaroo who watches too much TV?
A pouch potato.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
Who was the most flatulent Pharaoh in all of old Egypt?
King Tootsarecommon.
Don’t expect to hear yourself urinate after taking the Pfizer vaccine.
I had a doctor tell me the P was silent.
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
Last night me and the wife watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
How Many Engineers Does It Take to Assemble a Futon?
Three…and a psychologist!
Go to BabaMail
