Who used to run pen & paper RPGs in 1st century BC Rome?
The Carpe DM
What do you think is the name of the knight who unexpectedly turned up at the battle? His name is Sir Prize.
Why couldn't the Bard seduce the Gelatinous Cube?
Because cubes are platonic solids.
Did you hear the one about the recycling family of triplets? Polly, Ethel and Ian.
The sweetest and fruitiest historical wonder of the world is the Grape Wall of China.
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
Did you hear about the urologist who became an aerospace engineer?
He developed an incontinental ballistic missile.
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
Gladiator.
I really liked learning about displacement in Physics.
It's pretty straight to the point.
I hear there's a new COVID-19 vaccine delivered via an audio interface as music.
It is hoped that this will lead to heard immunity.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Power naps are great. You can really build up charge with them.
Why are refrigerator shelves hipsters?
They were there before it was cool.
How did the electrician pay for his new phone?
He charged it.
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
I love taking pictures of myself next to boiling kettles.
My friend reckons I have selfie steam issues
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
It replied, “No, thanks, I am traveling light.”
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
Are electrons pessimistic or optimistic?
Obviously pessimistic, they are always negative!
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
Last night I turned my wife on by ironing one side of her shirt...
I was pressing all the right buttons.
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
How do you tell the difference between boys and girls?
Take their genes down.
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
Something is odd about my hot stove.
I just can't quite put my finger on it.
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
You’re a unit of electrical energy, Harry.” I’m a watt?”
When Lincoln had asked Republican Senator John if he would aid him in capturing Atlanta, he replied, "Sher-man!"
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!
England is the wettest country because many monarchs reigned there for many years.
Dracula had to move out of his medieval castle for a couple of weeks because it was getting re-vamp-ed!
When life gives you mold - make penicillin.
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity?
It’s natural.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic
What did the energy company’s CEO credit her success to?
A series of strategic power moves.
The interesting the about engineering Toilet Paper.
It's an a-ply-ed science.
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
Marsh-mole-ows
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
What's an Ancient Egyptian favorite restaurant?
Pizza Tut!
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