How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!
Who was the biggest prankster in George Washington's army?
Laugh-ayette!
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
How did the Roman senators picked who will be first to stab the emperor?
They played rock paper Caesar
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
They call the first episode of a TV show a "Pilot", because anyone can fly a plane for a couple seconds....
But you have to prove your jokes can land.
What instrument never fails to energize a crowd?
An electric guitar.
If someone else would have invented the airplane, it wouldn't have been Wright.
Bacteria is the only culture some people have.
I tried to taste the hot light bulb
But I got my tungstenned.
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
The tea pot sounds so angry!
Nah, its just letting off some steam.
The local band stand was struck by lightening yesterday while the band was playing.
Only the conductor was hit.
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
How are air conditioners like humans?
Both get turned on when it's hot.
Why was the teapot sitting in the corner?
It was having a pour attitude.
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
What time is it Julius? 8:02 Brutus.
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
What did Russian do after they made the vaccine ?
They Put-in.
What did the gangster say to Julius Cesar?
What's an Ancient Egyptian favorite restaurant?
Pizza Tut!
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
What do you call a catholic toaster strudel?
A pope tart.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
When one is Russian for industrialization, there is no time for Stalin.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time?
You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
A knight asks a squire for the time
The squire says: it seems to be 3 pm
The knights shuts his visor and says: no, its knight time
My friend keeps the toaster on the lowest setting
I suspect he's got black toast intolerance
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
"Is your dishwasher running?"
"Seeing as it doesn't have feet, it does not"
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
A soldier in ancient Egypt is eating his ice cream and quitting on the army
A deserter having his dessert in the desert about to desert his post.
Did you hear the one about the recycling family of triplets? Polly, Ethel and Ian.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
Why didn't the Romans have algebra?
Because X always equaled 10!
I keep asking my physics teacher "what is the unit for power?"
But he just saying "Yes."
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