In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
I got tricked into buying a cooling fan that didn't work...
It was an air con.
Geology rocks but Geography is where it's at.
The tea pot sounds so angry!
Nah, its just letting off some steam.
What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? "I like your style."
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th.
What’s the best place to do math homework?
On a multiplication table.
If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up together, would they be alloys?
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
Sorry, that was my fault.
Did you guys hear about that 14-year old virgin girl who got pregnant after receiving the flu vaccine?
Sounds like an inoculate conception.
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
Where do geologists like to relax? In a rocking chair Why are geologists good at stand up comedy? They know really dirty jokes.
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
So engineering school is really hard.
I'm not doing so hot in thermodynamics.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
I just built a car out of a washing machine.
I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
He was a Ramen Catholic.
I created a vaccine for apathy, but unfortunately no one seems interested.
Have you heard the fast gladiator that was a tumor covered in dough?
He was a Roamin' Tumor Roll.
What temperature do you set a toy oven?
Faux hundred degrees.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
I destroyed all the air conditioners at work and escaped.
Police are now charging me with a 'heat and run' incident.
I am out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
I heard the history teacher got into a fight with the math teacher
He did a real good number in him.
What is the energy provider’s favorite dance? The electric slide.”
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
I was going to become a biologist. But all the endless coursework on hearts and lungs and kidneys and so on just made it seem like one long organ recital.
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
I hid the control for the TV
I’m not even remotely sorry.
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
What type of flowers does everybody have? two-lips.
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
England is the wettest country because many monarchs reigned there for many years.
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder?
"Don't worry. I'm fine."
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
Why are teapots so expensive?
Because they make you pour!
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
Did you hear what the foolish gardener did?
The guy planted a light bulb and though he’d get a power plant.
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
I can't touch my aunt or I will explode.
She's made of auntie matter.
How did the Roman senators picked who will be first to stab the emperor?
They played rock paper Caesar
What is a light bulb’s favorite kind of news?
Current events.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
Power naps are great. You can really build up charge with them.
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