How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?
Toot-and-come-in.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
I got tricked into buying a cooling fan that didn't work...
It was an air con.
Why are geologists no fun at parties?
They like to be stone-cold sober.
Two antennas got married – the wedding was lousy, but the reception was outstanding.
What do you call a Medieval knight who's always sure of himself?
Sir Tainly.
Where do light bulbs go shopping?
The outlet stores.
Today, I changed a light bulb, crossed a street, and walked into a bar.
My life is a joke.
What do you call a Smart TV?
In-telly-gent.
Why was the scuba diver failing Biology? Because he was below "C" level.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb?
He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.
Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
What element is derived from a Norse god? Thorium.
I feel uncomfortable next to my fridge
It's way too cool for me
I really have to force myself to get through this book on friction.
My wife asked, “If someone’s body just isn’t fighting the virus, would getting the vaccine help?”
I told her I think it’s worth a shot.
Physics is like incest.
It’s all relative.
I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful...
But it turns out to just be blowing hot air.
What do you call a fake pastry?
A prop tart!
Why were Native Americans in America first?
They had reservations.
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
What was the Romans' greatest achievement?
Learning to speak Latin!
You know, I really liked the rule of Nero.
Rome was pretty lit at the time.
If your girlfriend/wife ever gets you a gladiator uniform, it's a pretty good sign.
She wants you to be more Roman-tic.
May the mass times acceleration be with you.
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
Whats The Most tiniest Virus Ever? "smallpox".
Don't ever change a light bulb while the oven is on
You'll get burned out
What leads people to Rome?
The scents.
They want some aROMAtherapy.
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
Why did the acid go to the gym?
It wanted to become a buffer solution.
Hitler jokes are rude, Anne Frankly I don't care.
I bought a new heater for my wife.
She didn't like it first, but now I think she's warmed up to it.
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
What did one chandelier say to the other?
I have friends in the high places.
A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.
We ran out of laundry detergent today and had to open up a new one.
It was a changing of the Tide.
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
Using vaccines is...
Antibody-building.
How can you tell a sword is a knights favorite weapon?
He doesn't use a lance a lot.
What did Darth Vader tell the geologist?
May the quartz be with you!
Whoever named it a television ...
Should've called it a watching machine.
Did you know the first weather report was delivered to Julius Caesar?
Hail Caesar
You're my romeboy.
What do you call a happy aviator?
A gladiator
Go to BabaMail
