It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
I stopped ironing my clothes.
I have less pressing concerns.
Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.
A student holds a gun to his English teacher. "Give me all your money or you're geography!"
"You mean history."
"Don't change the subject!"
My friend pointed at a chandelier and said: "isn't that the coolest chandelier ever?"
I replied: "I don't know if it's the coolest, but it's up there."
Why are geologists so good in school?
They take nothing for granite.
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
Sorry, that was my fault.
What is an outlet’s favorite song?
I’ve Got The Power.
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
Two antennas got married – the wedding was lousy, but the reception was outstanding.
Why are geologists no fun at parties?
They like to be stone-cold sober.
A wind turbine saw a solar panel at an energy convention. He leaned in and shouted, Hey, I’m a big fan!”
The yearbook superlative that Robert Lee had given in his graduation was "Most likely to secede."
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
Asked my boy to put the kettle on.
He said, "I don't think it'll fit me"
Why do physics professors prefer overweight students?
They have greater potential.
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
After buying grocers, I sat on the San Francisco pier and pondered life. My laundry detergent tipped over...
Now I’m sittin on the dock of a bay, watching my Tide roll away.
My physics professor told me I had potential
Then he pushed me off the roof.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
Where do light bulbs go shopping?
The outlet stores.
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
Okay, so, I *had* an offensive joke I wanted to tell about Ancient Rome
But I don't have the Gaul anymore...
Why do Earth Science professors like to teach about ammonia?
Because it's basic material.
Two kittens on a sloped roof.
Which one slides off first?
The one with the lowest mew.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
If this new covid vaccine works...
...It'll be a real shot in the arm for 2021.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
They already 8!
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Stick him in an oven until his Bill Withers
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
What do the early European settlers in America have in common with ants?
They both lived in colonies!
I put some bread in the toaster this morning, but it never popped up again
I think it might be comatoast.
Who succeeded the first President of the United States?
The second one.
What do you call a musician who just saw Medusa?
A rockstar!
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
I like my pasta the way I like my medieval Italian literature.
All Dante.
I’m a hardcore believer in the “i before e except after c” rule
It’s science.
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexics Association.
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
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