Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.