What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.