Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
Rock was magma before it was cool.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
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