Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
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