If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
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