Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
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