Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
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