How does Santa look after the grass on his three gardens? Ho, ho ho.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
Had a great weekend. Won the annual weather forecaster's championships!
I beat the raining champion.
I was hiking in mountains the other day and a big cat started attacking me
Man, I puma pants
I never knew how lightning worked
Thats until it finally struck me.
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
Life's a beach. Enjoy the waves.
What’s the difference between a horse and wet weather?
One reigns up and the other rains down.
What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?
I guess we'll just have to make dew.
Green seemed to disappear from the rainbow it came back in full force, olive and kicking.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
During the flood, most of our garden was underwater. I felt especially bad for the grass - it must have been grass-ping for air.
What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The Meltdown Diet.
What do you call a ghoul who sits too close to the fire?
A toasty ghosty.
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
What do you call a deer in a storm?
A raindeer
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
I dropped my steak into the fire.
Well done, me, well done.
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
Why is grass so dangerous? Because it is full of blades!
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
Who carries out operations in a river? A sturgeon.
Most people have off on Independence Day. Except fire.
Fire-works on 4th of July.
During the contribution’s session, the mushroom family never gave a lot. They were just two spore.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
Why was there lightning and thunder in the lab?
The scientists were brainstorming.
I had the best ice pun to tell you…
Problem is, it slipped my mind.
I got camping insurance....but if someone steals my tent in the middle of the night....
I'm no longer covered.
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was InTents.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
My boss told me that he was going to fire the person with the worst posture
I have a hunch, it might be me.
The cloud hailed from the sky kingdom.
The river fish went to the library and asked if he can get a book. The librarian said: "You can start by-rowing it."
eople say they never get hungry at the beach
That’s because there’s sand, which is everywhere.
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
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