What do you call a friendly volcano? Lava-ble.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
Why is a field of grass always older than you?
Because it's pasture age
I'll open fire on anyone who says video games make children violent!
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
What is it called when bigger burgers fall from the sky?
Meatier showers.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
Did you hear about the cloud who became king? He rained for years.
What do you call a storm that doesn't come to fruition?
A mist opportunity!
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
When the drivers ran out of fuel in the grassland, they refueled their tanks with grass-oline!
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
I heard there are some fires near Greece
We’re gonna need a lot of baking soda.
Q: What’s the fastest way to make a skeleton?
A: Put a leper in a wind tunnel
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
Why did the man driving a train get struck by lightning?
He was a good conductor.
A tree's limbs fell off in a storm, now it's an amputree.
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
Seas the day.
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
Because she expected some change in the weather.
I can sea clearly now.
What did the cow that was struck by lightning say?
I'm udderly shocked.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
All the grasses were bumping into each other because the grass-light wasn't working in the streets.
It's ok to be negative if you find yourself in a thunderstorm.
You probably won't get struck by lightning.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
Solving problems in the mountains is easy. It really Alps to clear your head.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
I mist say, this is a pretty bad joke, but it haze potential.
If you go to a beach and you can see through it, you could say the coast is clear.
I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.
I was thinking of making an investment on a new farming venture that feeds marijuana to cows instead of grass.
The steaks will be too high for sure.
I once dreamt of crossing a wide river...
But it ended up being just a ferry tale.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
What do fashionable mountains wear when it's cold? An ice cap.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...
Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
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