Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
My sister said I would never be able to make a beach pun.
Is seashore about that?
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
Why did the cloud stay at home? It was feeling under the weather.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
I saw a cow on fire ther dayand so I put it out.
Guess you could call it a rare experience.
What do you call an 'O' on fire?
Flamingo.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
How did the old man walk his way out of the storm so fast?
Because, he had a hurry cane.
Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
Why did the man driving a train get struck by lightning?
He was a good conductor.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
I enjoy throwing coins in the river and watching them. I like studying my cash flow.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
Green seemed to disappear from the rainbow it came back in full force, olive and kicking.
Q: How do you store water?
A: Cloud storage.
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
What did the cow that was struck by lightning say?
I'm udderly shocked.
What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River? The Amazon River actually has sails.
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
Why did the girl walk into the ice cream store with an umbrella?
She heard there were going to be sprinkles
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
Why didn't the mexican archer fire his bow?
Because he didn't habanero.
Did you hear about the guy whose spouse was hit by lightning?
His entire wife flashed before his eyes.
Having a dirt yard instead of grass is a bold move...
But having a giant rock is boulder.
Q: How do clouds keep in touch with each other?
A: Using sky-pe.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
Many years ago, my grandfather used to cut the grass- but, he's been gone for a lawn time.
I couldn't figure out why that ball in the sky kept getting bigger...
Then it hit me.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
When a mountain falls sick, it tells the doctor that he's feeling really very, very hill.
Beach, please.
Why are there so many ruts in the ice at the rink?
The maintenance crew must be slipping up.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
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