It was so hot that the bee's perm had become extremely unmanageable, so she turned into a frizzbee.
Why didn't the hipster swim in the river? It was too mainstream.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
What do you call a Grizzly at a nude beach?
Bear Naked.
How does a rainbow greet the other weathers? With a yellow of course!
I got fired from the Calendar Factory yesterday
They say it's because I took a day off.
Green vegetables absolutely love going on camps as a group. Their favorite is the Brussels Scouts.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
Why was the Blonde fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away the W's.
Trying to get to the end of the rainbow is a gold move.
What did the lightning say to the fireworks?
"Hey! You stole my thunder."
Today isn’t the day to be making jokes about the weather.
It’s snow joke.
Diving into shallow water could lead to jumping to wrong conclusions.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
During the blizzard, the jalapeno said, I'm a little chilli.
I invented beach footwear for people with one leg.
It was a flop.
What did the vegan wear to the beach?
A zucchini!
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What happens when it rains cats and dogs? You have to be careful not to step in a poodle!
If there's a will, there's a wave.
What did the pigeon say after being struck by lightning?
Not coo.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
Where do saplings go to learn?
Elementree school
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
Ensure you save for the rainy day because even your closest friends can give you a cold shoulder.
Girls just wanna have sun.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
I was gonna make a river joke, but I don't think it's current.
I needed to add some grass seeds to my lawn. The only thing I could find to keep the seeds out of my flower bed was some ceramic bunnies my wife had, so I used those as a barrier.
Please don't make fun of my re-seeding hare line.
What did the retired pirate say when he went to the beach?
Long time no sea.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Pickle
Pickle who?
Pickle little flower and give it to your mother!
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
Did Texas survive last week's winter storms?
Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrly.
Q: Why did the cloud do drugs and join a gang?
A: Atmospheric pressure.
Why was the boxer fired from his job?
He never punched out.
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
They had us working like dogs at work after a storm
All I did was pick up sticks and bark.
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