Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
What type of pants do rain clouds wear? Thunderwear.
Nowadays, people drought the accuracy of weather men because the climatic patterns are so unpredictable.
What do you say when the beach asks you to walk on it?
Shore
Thunderstorms are shrewd investors. They put their money in a combination of frozen and liquid assets.
Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone
My Dermatologist was fired today...
He made too many rash decisions.
What does a ghost wear when it’s raining outside?
Boooooooooooots.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
Never forget how beautiful the mountains are. You don't want to take them for granite.
After being stuck in the ice storm all day long, the man said, "I am starving. Can I avalanche?"
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
Did you hear about the cows struck by lightning?
They were completely cattletonic!
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
Why did the cow go to space?
to get ice cream.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
My father decided to mow the lawn today. As he mowed, all the grass blade.
I was surprised when I saw a man get struck by lightning.
The man was shocked as well.
What do you call the people that you eat grass and produce milk alongside?
Cow-workers!
I was gonna make a river joke, but I don't think it's current.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
Green is the most relaxed color in the rainbow, it's so jade back.
The ocean cut off all ties with the river, because the river turned out to be too shallow.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
Water you doing?
What do you call an old snowman? A creek.
Why did the mushroom need time off work? Because he was fried.
My parents always told me I can be anything I wanted, the sky's the limit
This made me sad because I wanted to be an astronaut.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
Did you hear about the guy whose spouse was hit by lightning?
His entire wife flashed before his eyes.
It's ok to be negative if you find yourself in a thunderstorm.
You probably won't get struck by lightning.
I got fired from the unemployment office on Friday.
My boss said, “Clean out your desk, and I’ll see you in the office on Monday.”
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
All the grasses were bumping into each other because the grass-light wasn't working in the streets.
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