I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
Q: What did the wind turbine say to the engineer after he fixed him?
A: I’m a big fan of your work!
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
What did the chicken do when his shop caught on fire?
He egg-xited..
The other day I put out a big dangerous open fire!
The other people on the hot air balloon didn't appreciate me for some reason.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
What did Sherlock Holmes say to Watson when he noticed sandstone deposits on the river bank? "It's sedimentary, my dear Watson."
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
Many people think that when warm droplets of water in the air are rapidly cooled it forms fog.
But it’s actually a common mist-conception.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
I would love climbing to the peak of Mount Everest, but I do not see the point.
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
Due to bad weather, I won't be attending the Meteorology Convention.
I'm gonna take a rain-check.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
What kind of bean never grows in a garden? A jelly bean!
What language do things that fly in the sky speak....
Plane english
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
I over boiled some venison broth earlier.
It was deerly mist.
Did Texas survive last week's winter storms?
Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrly.
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
How many colors are in the rainbow? I haven't got a blue.
Grass absorbs nutrients always by the process of grass-imilation.
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
While rainbows must be many colors, they should always stay blue to themselves.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
I was surprised when I saw a man get struck by lightning.
The man was shocked as well.
What did one cloud of fog say to the other?
I don’t know. It’s a mistery.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
I thought I saw some fog yesterday.
But I guess my memory’s a little cloudy.
What is known as the world's wettest animal? Rain-deer.
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
Why was the boxer fired from his job?
He never punched out.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
What did the storm drain say when it learnt it'd be getting a new cover?
That's just grate.
I have a hiking playlist with songs from the Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my trail mix.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
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