My neighbors house got struck by lightning.
It hit close to home.
Q: Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?
A: Because you’re breaking wind.
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
Does all this rain make you want an ark?
I Noah guy.
Be careful out there during the snowstorm. It ain't snow joke.
During the contribution’s session, the mushroom family never gave a lot. They were just two spore.
Thunderstorms are shrewd investors. They put their money in a combination of frozen and liquid assets.
Beach, please.
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
Last night the river was arrested. The river was accused of illegal streaming.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Accordion
Accordion who?
Accordion to the forecast, it's going to rain tonight.
Q: What falls but never hits the ground?
A: The temperature
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
What did the husband say when his wife told him he bought the wrong flowers?
"Oopsie daisy!"
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
My dad's nickname is lightning.
That way I can tell my friends I've been struck by lightning multiple times.
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
What did fog do to make the captain angry? He mist the boat.
What do you call a friendly volcano? Lava-ble.
Took the family on a whitewater rafting trip, and first time we came to a sudden descent in the river, we lost everything...
That was just one of the downfalls!
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
Q: What do you call a freezing bird?
A: Brrrrrrrrrdddd
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
Rivers are so lazy they never get out of their beds.
Got a cow helping me cut the grass. He's a lawn mooer.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
I thought I was swimming in the river Thames, but apparently I made it all the way to France before I realized I'm in Seine.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster.
It was used as grounds for dismissal.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
They had us working like dogs at work after a storm
All I did was pick up sticks and bark.
Poured beer over my garden before planting the lawn. I hoped the grass would come up half cut.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
Where do saplings go to learn?
Elementree school
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
I was at the beach and saw this guy in the water yelling, “Help, shark! Help!
I just laughed because I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
What do you call a boy swimming at the beach?
Buoyancy.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
Green is the most relaxed color in the rainbow, it's so jade back.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
Mother always knows best. But when winter comes around, Mother Nature snows best.
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
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