My neighbour always thinks he knows more about the weather than me
The guy is a real snow it all.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Q: What’s the fastest way to make a skeleton?
A: Put a leper in a wind tunnel
I'm reading a book called "The Yellow River"
It's written by I.P. Freely
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
I had a rainbow for lunch. I'm trying to eat light.
When you look at the sky and see the moon
You're looking at a subtle light
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
What did Abel yell to his brother when he noticed a storm coming?
Hurry, Cain!!
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
Whale, hello there.
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
How do two rival forests get along? They sign a peace tree-ty!
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
It's been a while since I heard jokes about people sitting on wet morning grass.
They're over dew.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
My father decided to mow the lawn today. As he mowed, all the grass blade.
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
Trying to get to the end of the rainbow is a gold move.
I got fired from the Calendar Factory yesterday
They say it's because I took a day off.
What do you call a Mongolian leader who got struck by lightning
Shocka Khan.
A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night....
..... oof !!
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
What did fog do to make the captain angry? He mist the boat.
The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
What does a mountain often do at its daily meal? It avalunch.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
Poured beer over my garden before planting the lawn. I hoped the grass would come up half cut.
When the AC circuits in your home are hit by a DC lightning bolt..
It's a current affair.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
My dad refused to accept that he was not hiking in a mountain called Mt. McKinley
He was in Denali.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
What do you call a chicken that was struck by lightning?
Air fried.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
It's ok to be negative if you find yourself in a thunderstorm.
You probably won't get struck by lightning.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
Our weather bureau is actually an umbrella organization.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
Why do you never see owls being affectionate in the rain? It's too wet to woo.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker
I used to search for clams on the beach
But then I pulled a mussel.
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
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